Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym/helath club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym/helath club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. v. 1
Although few people consider that joining a fitness club is the best way to stay healthy, others think that one can stay fit just by following routine activities like walking and opting stairs instead of lifts. In my opinion, I believe that routine activities are more than enough to keep people healthy. On the one hand, joining a gym is considered to be beneficial by many people due to certain reasons. Firstly, it gives people motivation to follow a fitness regime. In other words, people usually become lazy and do not take any exercise at home. Going to gym allows them to see many other persons performing similar activities and human tends to inspire from others. Therefore, when they see other club members doing the same task, they get motivated to keep going. Secondly, paying huge amounts as gym fees enforces people to take benefit of it. Most people do not take free things seriously, so they tend to skip the fitness routine, but most people always try to go to gym when their money is involved in it. On the other hand, some people think that one can stay fit by making simple changes in routine activities and I agree. People can take stairs whenever required instead of using escalators as it helps in burning calories. Therefore, walking and climbing stairs act as the best exercise as it does not require huge efforts like gym activities. Moreover, no additional time required to follow these simple steps as it can be done while performing daily chores. For instance, one can walk to market to buy household things and use stairs in office premises, so no additional cost or efforts needed. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I consider that doing daily activities is the best way to stay fit as it results in cost as well as time saving.
Although few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that joining a fitness club is the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
healthy, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that one can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
fit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like walking and opting stairs
instead
of lifts. In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
healthy.

On the one hand, joining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
is considered
to be beneficial by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to certain reasons.
Firstly
, it gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
motivation to follow a fitness regime. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
become lazy and do not take any exercise at home. Going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
persons performing similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and human tends to inspire from others.
Therefore
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
club members doing the same task, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivated to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
going.
Secondly
, paying huge amounts as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
fees enforces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take benefit of it. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not take free things
seriously
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they tend to skip the fitness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always try to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
when their money
is involved
in it.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that one can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
fit by making simple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can take stairs whenever required
instead
of using escalators as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in burning calories.
Therefore
, walking and climbing stairs act as the best exercise as it does not require huge efforts like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Moreover
, no additional time required to follow these simple steps as it can
be done
while performing daily chores.
For instance
, one can walk to market to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
household things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
stairs in office premises,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no additional cost or efforts needed.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinions, I consider that doing daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
is the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
fit as it results in cost
as well
as time saving.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym/helath club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts