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Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym/health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym/health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. v. 1
It is often argued by some that the perfect method to remain healthy is to join the fitness center, whereas others believe that by doing regular tasks like walk on foot and use the staircase is more than enough to become slim. Whilst a discussion of both these views is worthwhile, I am a supporter of the latter view. On the one hand, utilizing the health clubs will ensure the fitness of the people by doing more exercises. That is to say that it will have trainer to guide us and it helps the person to tone the specific part of their body either to reduce or increase the shape. Moreover, it will help us to regulate the task perfectly without any slippage. For example, in most of the countries, because of sedentary lifestyle people opt to go to gym to reduce their excess fat and be healthy. However, I do not support this notion because once we leave the equipment workouts it will make us to gain more weight which is not good for health. On the other hand, using the stairs to go to the top or walking in the ground will make everyone to stay fit forever. In other words, this is the easiest and simple technique without spending any amount to endure in good physical shape. For instance, in most of the countryside in India, people prefer to walk on their foot to go to the nearest place and also use escalator to go upstairs which made them to be active at the age of 80 or 90. In my opinion, I agree that it is the slow process to maintain our body but it is the steady and safer way to keep us healthy forever. In conclusion, although going to gymnasium will help the person to utilize all the equipment and trainer to make them able-bodied, I reiterate that it might be harmful in the future instead the regular activities like marching and using steps will be sufficient to burn the fat.
It is
often
argued by
some
that the perfect method to remain healthy is to
join
the fitness center, whereas others believe that by doing regular tasks like walk on foot and
use
the staircase is more than
enough
to become slim. Whilst a discussion of both these views is worthwhile, I am a supporter of the latter view.

On the one hand, utilizing the health clubs will ensure the fitness of the
people
by doing more exercises.
That is
to say that it will have trainer to guide us and it
helps
the person to tone the specific part of their body either to
reduce
or increase the shape.
Moreover
, it will
help
us to regulate the task
perfectly
without any slippage.
For example
, in most of the countries,
because
of sedentary lifestyle
people
opt to go to gym to
reduce
their excess
fat
and be healthy.
However
, I do not support this notion
because
once we
leave
the equipment workouts it will
make
us to gain more weight which is not
good
for health.

On the other hand
, using the stairs to go to the top or walking in the ground will
make
everyone to stay fit forever.
In other words
, this is the easiest and simple technique without spending any amount to endure in
good
physical shape.
For instance
, in most of the countryside in India,
people
prefer to walk on their foot to go to the nearest place and
also
use
escalator to go upstairs which made them to be active at the age of 80 or 90. In my opinion, I
agree
that it is the slow process to maintain our body
but
it is the steady and safer way to
keep
us healthy forever.

In conclusion
, although going to gymnasium will
help
the person to utilize all the equipment and trainer to
make
them able-bodied, I reiterate that it might be harmful in the future
instead
the regular activities like marching and using steps will be sufficient to burn the
fat
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym/health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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