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Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion? v.4

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion? v. 4
Healthcare and education are the primary importance to citizens, and many tend to see the both areas as country responsibilities while others hesitate. To a certain point, I firmly believe that this must be free of charge throughout the country. First of all, the federal budget for people’s learning & development is of great benefit to children, family and the society as a whole. Because some parents struggle to afford the study cost with their meagre salary, compared with the unaffordable tuition fees being charged by tertiary institutions. In Vietnam, for example, a middle-class family spends approximately 50% income for the monthly school fee for children. And the low-income families, which are only enough to buy food and pay for their monthly bills, their children were limited to their potential with poor academic experience. By providing free education to the residents it is hoped that more skilled and educated workers would be created. Similarly, access to health care is a basic human right and a measure to ensure a decent standard of living. In addition, humans should not have to worry about if they can pay to stay healthy. For instance, some patients who could not find the way to cover the hospital cost, they stay home suffering, until it's too late to start treatment. Needless to say, healthcare treatment cost is, in general, expensive to thousands of people destitute. Furthermore, a healthy nation is the base of a country and it is a government's responsibility to make the proper medical treatment and service available for all. Government’s financial support is therefore required. In conclusion, education and healthy life are two basic needs of every citizen and a government is in fact, formed to make sure no citizen is deprived of his basic needs, and all these must be given importance and unrestricted from all levels of the society.
Healthcare and education are the primary importance to citizens, and
many
tend to
see
the both areas as country responsibilities while others hesitate. To a certain point, I
firmly
believe that this
must
be free of charge throughout the country.

First of all
, the federal budget for
people
’s learning & development is of great benefit to children, family and the society as a whole.
Because
some
parents struggle to afford the study cost with their
meagre
salary, compared with the unaffordable tuition fees
being charged
by tertiary institutions. In Vietnam,
for example
, a middle-
class
family spends approximately 50% income for the monthly school fee for children. And the low-income families, which are
only
enough
to
buy
food and pay for their monthly bills, their children
were limited
to their potential with poor academic experience. By providing free education to the residents it
is hoped
that more skilled and educated workers would
be created
.

Similarly
, access to health care is a basic human right and a measure to ensure a decent standard of living.
In addition
, humans should not
have to
worry about if they can pay to stay healthy.
For instance
,
some
patients who could not find the way to cover the hospital cost, they stay home suffering, until it's too late to
start
treatment. Needless to say, healthcare treatment cost is,
in general
, expensive to thousands of
people
destitute.
Furthermore
, a healthy nation is the base of a country and it is a
government
's responsibility to
make
the proper medical treatment and service available for all.
Government
’s financial support is
therefore
required.

In conclusion
, education and healthy life are two basic needs of every citizen and a
government
is in fact, formed to
make
sure no citizen
is deprived
of his basic needs, and all these
must
be
given
importance and unrestricted from all levels of the society.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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