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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v.13

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 13
Over the years, with the advancement of agricultural technology, a huge amount of food has been wasted, instead of being consumed in developed countries. Ironically, in some developing countries, people are dying of hunger or suffering from chronic malnutrition. From my perspective, the main reason behind the issue is poverty, and the issue could be addressed by humanitarian aid. The issue of starvation stems from destitution without a shadow of a doubt. In other words, the less access to wealth, the higher the possibilities people encounter food shortage. Numerous reasons that bring about the problem ranging from political instability to geographical location in Ethiopia. Take Yemen as an example, people are in hunger pangs and live below the poverty line because the country is usually in war, and thus a huge amount of money needs to invest in wars instead of directing to livelihood economy. Another example is Ethiopia where the country is often regarded as emblematic of poverty. Droughts and water crisis have contributed to the nation’s poor economic status. Therefore, it is unlikely for poverty-stricken countries to develop skills or build infrastructure associating with agriculture. The optimal solution to fight famine would be humanitarian aid, and several approaches can achieve this goal. First, food assistance, including emergency feeding, necessities, and agricultural machines or food can be delivered to the abject poverty countries via donation. Moreover, diagnosis and treatment of malnutrition through fundraising, the funds should be directed towards local food-producing industries and hospitals or clinics in developing and distributing more nutritious food products to the poor. Besides, as for some remote area water may not be readily available, and thus water shortage is the biggest concern for them. To cope with the predicament, enlisting experts in related fields is essential for improving water, hygiene, and sanitation to prevent water-related diseases. In this regard, clean water can be provided for drinking and irrigation in the needy regions. In conclusion, most people nowadays are agreed on the term “global village”, but we still witness a multitude of people succumbing to malnutrition or dying of hunger. Being part of global villagers, we should exert humanitarian activities such as donations or fundraising in the dire poverty regions.
Over the years, with the advancement of agricultural technology, a huge amount of
food
has
been wasted
,
instead
of
being consumed
in developed
countries
.
Ironically
, in
some
developing
countries
,
people
are dying of hunger or suffering from chronic malnutrition. From my perspective, the main reason behind the issue is
poverty
, and the issue could
be addressed
by humanitarian aid.

The issue of starvation stems from destitution without a shadow of a doubt.
In other words
, the less access to wealth, the higher the possibilities
people
encounter
food
shortage. Numerous reasons that bring about the problem ranging from political instability to geographical location in Ethiopia. Take Yemen as an example,
people
are in hunger pangs and
live
below the
poverty
line
because
the
country
is
usually
in war, and
thus
a huge amount of money needs to invest in wars
instead
of directing to livelihood economy. Another example is Ethiopia where the
country
is
often
regarded as emblematic of
poverty
. Droughts and
water
crisis have contributed to the nation’s poor economic status.
Therefore
, it is unlikely for poverty-stricken
countries
to develop
skills
or build infrastructure associating with agriculture.

The optimal solution to fight famine would be humanitarian aid, and several approaches can achieve this goal.
First
,
food
assistance, including emergency feeding, necessities, and agricultural machines or
food
can
be delivered
to the abject
poverty
countries
via donation.
Moreover
, diagnosis and treatment of malnutrition through fundraising, the funds should
be directed
towards local food-producing industries and hospitals or clinics in developing and distributing more nutritious
food
products to the poor.
Besides
, as for
some
remote area
water
may not be
readily
available, and
thus
water
shortage is the biggest concern for them. To cope with the predicament, enlisting experts in related fields is essential for improving
water
, hygiene, and sanitation to
prevent
water-related diseases. In this regard, clean
water
can
be provided
for drinking and irrigation in the needy regions.

In conclusion
, most
people
nowadays are
agreed
on the term “global village”,
but
we
still
witness a multitude of
people
succumbing to malnutrition or dying of hunger. Being part of global villagers, we should exert humanitarian activities such as donations or fundraising in the dire
poverty
regions.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
365 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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