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Some people think that zoo are cruel and should be closed down but other thinks that zoo can be useful to protect the wild life and endangered species. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people think that zoo are cruel and should be closed down but other thinks that zoo can be useful to protect the wild life and endangered species. yDPDr
It is undeniable that zoo have its own identity in this modern era as many animals are being kept in these parks. However, people are divided into two portion in which some are stand against and same are stand by with these parks. This approach leads to a charged debate that compel to look into both aspects and pushes towards discussion. To embark on, the analysis of the view that zoological gardens should be banned are worth noticing. First and foremost, these man made habitats exhibit animals with the aim of making money. To explain it, large numeral of these silent creatures are being abused by human beings for earning money, thereby, wild animals or endangered ones surrounded by distress circumstances. Indeed, circuses which have gained popularity by involving lions, elephants, whales and dolphins. Furthermore, many animal's rescue teams kept them in artificial habitats. On the face of it, officers regarding to zoological department keeps endangered species in cages by giving the reason that these valuable species can be hunted for many purposes. As a result of this, these species lost their freedom for their whole life. Ultimately, with this perspective, zoo should be contraband. On the other hand, the role of zoo can not be neglected as they have contribution in wildlife conservation. Education from geographic national parks could theoretically be advantageous in order to magnify our knowledge about creatures. In fact, zoo allow scientists to study the behavior or anatomy of animals in order to cope with various ailments in near future. Apart from it, zoo provide job opportunities as well. So, it also participate in raising employment somewhere. Undoubtably, building more national parks will be in favor of animals. To sum up, menagerie have some positive or negative aspects. As far as I believe, I agree with the sight of keeping zoo only if government would take major and legal steps against mistreating with animals in these shelters.
It is undeniable
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "that zoo has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that zoo have
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
identity in this modern era as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are divided
into two portion in which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are stand against and same are stand by with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
. This approach leads to a charged debate that compel to look into both aspects and pushes towards discussion.

To embark on, the analysis of the view that zoological gardens should
be banned
are worth noticing.
First
and foremost, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
made habitats exhibit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
with the aim of making money. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, large numeral of these silent creatures are
being abused
by human beings for earning money, thereby, wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
or endangered ones surrounded by distress circumstances.
Indeed
, circuses which have gained popularity by involving lions, elephants, whales and dolphins.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Incorrect plural form; it does not need any apostrophe. Did you mean "animals"?
animal's
rescue teams
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
them in artificial habitats. On the face of it, officers
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
zoological department
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
endangered species in cages by giving the reason that these valuable species can
be hunted
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
purposes.
As a result
of this, these species lost their freedom for their whole life.
Ultimately
, with this perspective, zoo should be contraband.

On the other hand
, the role of zoo can not
be neglected
as they have contribution in wildlife conservation. Education from geographic national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
could
theoretically
be advantageous in order to magnify our knowledge about creatures. In fact, zoo
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
scientists to study the behavior or anatomy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in order to cope with various ailments in near future. Apart from it, zoo provide job opportunities
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it
also
Did you mean "participates"?
participate
in raising employment somewhere.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Undoubtably
, building more national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
will be in favor of animals.

To sum up, menagerie have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects. As far as I believe, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the sight of keeping zoo
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
would take major and legal steps against mistreating with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in these shelters.
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IELTS essay Some people think that zoo are cruel and should be closed down but other thinks that zoo can be useful to protect the wild life and endangered species.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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