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Many people believe that television can influence people's behavior

Many people believe that television can influence people's behavior 7LJ0n
Most people agree that all forms of entertainment affect society. In my opinion, movies and television shows really do influence how people behave. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First of all, films and television provide society with a lot of negative role-models, which many people are willing to emulate. These days, the so-called “anti-hero” is a big part of popular culture. This is a type of character who acts badly around other people, ignores the rules of society and has a really misanthropic attitude. Commonly, these characters glorify excessive violence and drug use. My own personal experience is a compelling example of this. When I was in high school, a close friend of mine was a huge fan of characters like this. While he started high school as a straight-A student, he later began to watch a lot of films which gave him the impression that taking drugs and fighting with his classmates was amusing and even desirable behavior. As a result, he barely finished high school and is now unemployed. Moreover, he has few job prospects. Had he not watched so many terrible movies, he would not be in such a desperate situation today. On the other hand, TV shows and movies also provide people with a lot of positive role models. For people who desire to watch wholesome shows, there are many family-friendly options to choose from. Programs of this type showcase functioning and stable families. They don’t just show traditional and conservative families, but caring, loving people from many different backgrounds and with many different beliefs. For instance, my own family often takes inspiration from the parents and children we see on our favorite family drama, “The Bosby Show. ” We are not always able to live up to the ideals the show presents to us, but they positively influence the way we behave every day. We are really thankful for the influence it has on our lives. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that television and movies influence the way almost everyone behaves in modern society. This is because some movies cause us to act in detrimental ways, and because other shows inspire us to emulate and embrace positive values
Most
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that all forms of entertainment affect
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society
. In my opinion,
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movies
and television
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shows
really
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
behave. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, films and television provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
role-models, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to emulate. These days, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called “anti-hero” is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
part of popular culture. This is a type of character who acts
badly
around other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignores
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and has a
really
misanthropic attitude.
Commonly
, these characters glorify excessive violence and drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal experience is a compelling example of this. When I was in high school, a close friend of mine was a huge fan of characters like this. While he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
high school as a straight-A student, he later began to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
films which gave him the impression that taking drugs and fighting with his classmates was amusing and even desirable behavior.
As a result
, he
barely
finished high school and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
unemployed.
Moreover
, he has few job prospects. Had he not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
terrible
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movies
, he would not be in such a desperate situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

On the other hand
, TV
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shows
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
also
provide
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people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
role models. For
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people
who desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
wholesome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
family-friendly options to choose from. Programs of this type showcase functioning and stable
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families
. They don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
traditional and conservative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
caring, loving
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people
from
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many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds and with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
beliefs.
For instance
, my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
takes inspiration from the parents and children we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on our favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
drama, “The
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Bosby
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Show
. ” We are not always able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
up to the ideals the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
presents to us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
positively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
the way we behave every day. We are
really
thankful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
it has on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that television and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
the way almost everyone behaves in modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
cause us to act in detrimental ways, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
inspire us to emulate and embrace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
values
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IELTS essay Many people believe that television can influence people's behavior

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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