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Some people think that youngsters should be prohibited from using smartphone.Instead they should be involved into something creative.To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that youngsters should be prohibited from using smartphone. Instead they should be involved into something creative. 0weNq
Few people believe that, teenagers should be restrained for using cellphones, whereas others believe that they could look for something innovative. I fully agree with this opinion, and i believe that this approach will promote youths to do something inventive. First of all, if youngsters are addicted towards mobile phones they will not be able to focus towards their studies. By this i mean, regular use of smartphones might seem an obstacle for teens to concentrate in education. According to a vast majority of people, youngsters should direct their ample time towards creativity. In other words, understanding their capabilities, will motivate them to go for something inventive, moreover increase their potential to do something with their own efficiency. Moreover, smartphones are also home to hackers and fraudsters, which might try to achieve personal information of teens, and that could also land them in some serious trouble another day. A very good example of this, is youths spending most of their time on social media platforms, like Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, and several others. Moreover, it is noticed that teens tend to connect virtually with strangers without any hesitation, which they would think twice before applying in day to day life, and get attracted towards charm created by virtual world. According to my opinion, strict laws should be implemented towards limited access of smartphones to youths, and innovative programs should be launched which focuses on enhancing artistic characteristics in youngsters, and pays pivotal role in multiplying competitive skills in youths, thus motivating youngsters towards a better and successful future ahead.
Few
people
believe that,
teenagers
should
be restrained
for using cellphones, whereas others believe that they could look for
something
innovative. I
fully
agree
with this opinion, and
i
believe that this approach will promote youths to do
something
inventive.

First of all
, if youngsters
are addicted
towards mobile phones they will not be able to focus towards their studies. By this
i
mean, regular
use
of smartphones might seem an obstacle for teens to concentrate in education. According to a vast majority of
people
, youngsters should direct their ample time towards creativity.
In other words
, understanding their capabilities, will motivate them to go for
something
inventive,
moreover
increase their potential to do
something
with their
own
efficiency.

Moreover
, smartphones are
also
home to hackers and fraudsters, which might try to achieve personal information of teens, and that could
also
land them in
some
serious trouble another day. A
very
good
example of this, is youths spending most of their time on social media platforms, like Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, and several others.
Moreover
, it
is noticed
that teens tend to connect
virtually
with strangers without any hesitation, which they would
think
twice
before
applying in day to day life, and
get
attracted towards charm created by virtual world.

According to my opinion, strict laws should
be implemented
towards limited access of smartphones to youths, and innovative programs should
be launched
which focuses on enhancing artistic characteristics in youngsters, and pays pivotal role in multiplying competitive
skills
in youths,
thus
motivating youngsters towards a better and successful future ahead.
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IELTS essay Some people think that youngsters should be prohibited from using smartphone. Instead they should be involved into something creative.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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