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Some people prefer to own a business other prefer to work for an employer discuss the both side and give your opinion

Some people prefer to own a business other prefer to work for an employer discuss the both side and give your opinion E7n3x
Some individuals want be self employed. On the contrary, other give a priority to jobs. In this essay, firstly, I will discuss both the prospective, and then deduce my own opinion. Proponent of first view point contant that in self employment people have their own will and they do not have to work under anybody elses instructions, whereas, in a job, one has to follow the commands of the boss. futhermore, it is argued that business allows individual to implement their innovative ideas to expand their business and grow in life. In case of employment with other, such possibilities are limited. Apart from this, future generation benefit from the business established in a family. They can join that instead of struggling to find a job. Advocate of second view point maintain that are job provides financial security. In most of the time, employees keep get their salaries irrespective of the condition of the business, while, there is a great volatility in the case of businesses they are crash any time. Moreover, in job, generally, employees are free to live their life in their own way after the working hours are over. But in self -employment, owners remain under pressure all the time as they are responsible for overall management. In my opinion, having own business is a better choice. Although individual may have their own choice depending on their circumstances. Own business provide freedom for operation and scope to implement new and creative ideas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals
Did you mean "won't be"?
want be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self employed
.
On the contrary
, other give a priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. In this essay,
firstly
, I will discuss both the prospective, and then deduce my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

Proponent of
first
view point
Possible spelling mistake found.
contant
that in self employment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
will and
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work under anybody
Possible spelling mistake found.
elses
instructions, whereas, in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
follow the commands of the boss.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
futhermore
, it
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
individual to implement their innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to expand their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and grow in life. In case of employment with other, such possibilities
are limited
. Apart from this, future generation benefit from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
established in a family. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
that
instead
of struggling to find a job.

Advocate of second view point maintain that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
provides financial security. In most of the time, employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their salaries irrespective of the condition of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, while, there is a great volatility in the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
they are crash any time.
Moreover
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
generally
, employees are free to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way after the working hours are over.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in self -employment, owners remain under pressure all the time as they are responsible for
overall
management.

In my opinion, having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is a better choice.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
individual may have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice depending on their circumstances.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
provide freedom for operation and scope to implement new and creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
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IELTS essay Some people prefer to own a business other prefer to work for an employer discuss the both side and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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