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Successful sportsperson can receive higher income than those in other major professions.

Successful sportsperson can receive higher income than those in other major professions. 86og5
Successful sportsperson can receive higher income than those in other major professions. Although some people feel that those in other important fields should earn more, in my opinion, the sportsmen deserve more than any other professionals because of their hard work and determination to represent the country. On one hand, the sportsmen have a fixed regime to follow for their physical fitness and diet. For instance, Virat Kohil is fitness personified and extremely strict with his diet. He plays for the country to perform his best in the cricket matches. Also, M. S. Dhoni is one of the few Indian cricketers who chose to play the match for his country on the day his daughter was born. This kind of dedication the sportsmen have while they play for their country. Some people think it is unfair for them to earn a great deal. However, I think sportsperson retire at a very early age because with the passing of age, nimbleness of movement declines. Therefore, they have very few years of economic life during which they have to earn before bidding goodbye to their profession and retire. So, it is absolutely fair on their part to earn enough in a short span of their career for a better living in future. On the other hand, other professionals follow a very fixed work life routine. They can enjoy professional as well as personal life at the same time. Moreover, the late retirement age gives them opportunity to earn for a longer period. The pressure of working and delivering for the country is on the shoulder of a sportsperson. To conclude, I believe that a huge gap in the salaries of sportsperson and other fields is fair.
Successful sportsperson can receive higher income than those in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
major professions. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that those in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
fields should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
more, in my opinion, the sportsmen deserve more than any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
professionals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and determination to represent the country.

On one hand, the sportsmen have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
regime to follow for their physical fitness and diet.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Virat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kohil
is fitness personified and
extremely
strict with his diet. He plays for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to perform his best in the cricket matches.
Also
, M. S.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dhoni
is one of the few Indian cricketers who chose to play the match for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
on the day his daughter
was born
. This kind of dedication the sportsmen have while they play for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is unfair for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
a great deal.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
sportsperson retire at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with the passing of age, nimbleness of movement declines.
Therefore
, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few years of economic life during which they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
bidding goodbye to their profession and retire.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
on their part to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
in a short span of their career for a better living
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
professionals follow a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
work life routine. They can enjoy professional
as well
as personal life at the same time.
Moreover
, the late retirement age gives them opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
for a longer period. The pressure of working and delivering for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is on the shoulder of a sportsperson.

To conclude
, I believe that a huge gap in the salaries of sportsperson and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
fields is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
.
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IELTS essay Successful sportsperson can receive higher income than those in other major professions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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