Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that young people should spend their free time with their families instead of enjoying outside entertainment. However, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Family is the single most important influence in children’s life and for this reason, some individuals believe that youngsters should allocate their leisure hours to their households, rather than been engaged in outdoor amusements, while others think otherwise. I, however, support the view that engaging in outdoor activities is a better idea. On the one hand, offsprings spending spare time with relatives enhance unbreakable bonds. This is achieved by boosting better understanding, tolerance and acceptance of one another, leading to less disagreement, and violent acts amongst household which eventually strengthen bonds. For instance, spending more time with my dad especially from childhood has significantly increased my understanding of him, and my affection towards him more than any other member of family. On the other hand, it is my opinion that participating in outdoor relaxation is better as it increases one’s network and social skills. This is due to the fact that this individuals are more opportune to come across various individuals who eventually become friends that could be relevant to the growth of their career, by connecting them to important partners. Furthermore, they are able to interact with numerous people from different aspect of lives which further enhances their communication and social skills. To illustrate, amidst the high level of unemployment in Nigeria, a personal project survey reviewed that approximately 60% of employed youngsters got the connection through friends. To conclude, although allocating leisure hours to bloodlines increases affinity, I believe it is preferable to engage in open-air pleasure as it enhances interpersonal skills and network.
Family is the single most
important
influence in children’s life and
for this reason
,
some
individuals believe that youngsters should allocate their leisure hours to their households,
rather
than
been engaged
in outdoor amusements, while others
think
otherwise
. I,
however
, support the view that engaging in outdoor activities is a better
idea
.

On the one hand, offsprings spending spare time with relatives enhance unbreakable bonds. This
is achieved
by boosting better understanding, tolerance and acceptance of one another, leading to less disagreement, and violent acts amongst household which
eventually
strengthen bonds.
For instance
, spending more time with my dad
especially
from childhood has
significantly
increased my understanding of him, and my affection towards him more than any other member of family.

On the other hand
, it is my opinion that participating in outdoor relaxation is better as it increases one’s network and social
skills
.
This is due to the fact that
this
individuals are more opportune to
come
across various individuals who
eventually
become friends that could be relevant to the growth of their career, by connecting them to
important
partners.
Furthermore
, they are able to interact with numerous
people
from
different
aspect of
lives
which
further
enhances their communication and social
skills
. To illustrate, amidst the high level of unemployment in Nigeria, a personal project survey reviewed that approximately 60% of employed youngsters
got
the connection through friends.

To conclude
, although allocating leisure hours to bloodlines increases affinity, I believe it is preferable to engage in open-air pleasure as it enhances interpersonal
skills
and network.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that young people should spend their free time with their families instead of enjoying outside entertainment. However, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts