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Many children in rural places cannot have a good school and medifacility.some people suggest that new teachers and doctors should be sent to rural places for several years. Others, however, believe everyone has the right to choose where to work. To what extent do you agree?

Children who live in rural areas do not have good educational and health-related facilities. Some people say that new education al and medical staff should be sent. But, others think that every person has the right to choose where to work, where to live, where to study. It is a fundamental right so no one can force anyone to do something that they do not want to do. Moreover, everyone has a goal, to complete it they work where they want. For instance, every person has a view of their future and desire job. So, it is totally unethical to force someone to work in such places. On the other hand, people in any places have their demecratic rights and equal rights on every facilities provided by the Government. Moreover, medical and educational facility is basic need for any area. If they are not getting this facilities then it is a violation of their rights. Majority of people are living in rular area and they are upset while they don't get basic welfare and it is directly affect to the economy of any country. In short, a democratic government cannot avoid it responsibility for providing welfare to its citizens. People in rural areas have equal rights on welfare as any other set of people. By providing serval benefits to doctors and teachers, the Government can encourage them to mitigate the sufferings of those living in villages.
Children who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
do not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
educational and health-related facilities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that new education
Possible spelling mistake found.
al
and medical staff should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that every person has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to choose where to work, where to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, where to study. It is a fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no one can force anyone to do something that they do not want to do.
Moreover
, everyone has a goal, to complete it they work where they want.
For instance
, every person has a view of their future and desire job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
totally
unethical to force someone to work in such places.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in any places have their
Possible spelling mistake found.
demecratic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
and equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
on every
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “facility”?
facilities
provided by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
.
Moreover
, medical and educational facility is basic need for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. If they are not getting this facilities then it is a violation of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
. Majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living in
Possible spelling mistake found.
rular
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
area and
they
are upset
while they don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
basic
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
welfare and
it is
directly
affect to the economy of any country. In short, a democratic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
cannot avoid it responsibility for providing welfare to its citizens.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
have equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
on welfare as any other set of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. By providing
Possible spelling mistake found.
serval
benefits to doctors and teachers, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can encourage them to mitigate the sufferings of those living in villages.
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IELTS essay Many children in rural places cannot have a good school and medifacility. some people suggest that new teachers and doctors should be sent to rural places for several years. Others, however, believe everyone has the right to choose where to work.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Many children in rural places cannot have a good school and medifacility.some people suggest that new teachers and doctors should be sent to rural places for several years. Others, however, believe everyone has the right to choose where to work. To what extent do you agree?