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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

In this Global Village, where everyone is connected through these Social Apps like Facebook, etc, have an undesirable effect on people and society, I disagree with that, reason being, these platforms connect the distant loved ones and these networks influence the society in a positive way. I would support my argument starting with those individuals who are away from their loved ones, working in different countries, at the end of the day, the only way they can connect to their friends and families is only through these social networking sites, they can interconnect with each other through posts, photos, and video calls. These applications have shortened the distances in many ways and most people feel fulfilled to have them in their lives. Now, with in no seconds, we can know what is happening in other parts of the world, we can watch them live, see their traditions and cultures. We can work with each other, share our virtual workspace and we can now support humanity in many ways. Social media is the new way of connecting and these sites bring more good than bad. Though they have an adverse impact in some ways, but this paradigm shift can never be neglected. I conclude that, social networking applications have changed the architecture of connecting and they bring more accomplishment to individuals and society. They are now becoming part of everyone and are beneficial in plenty of ways not only connecting all of us but also bringing a shift when it comes to the workspace.
In this Global Village, where everyone
is connected
through these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
Apps like Facebook, etc, have an undesirable effect on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and society, I disagree with that, reason being, these platforms connect the distant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones and these networks influence the society in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.

I would support my argument starting with those individuals who are away from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones, working in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
they can connect to their friends and families is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
through these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites, they can interconnect with each other through posts, photos, and video calls. These applications have shortened the distances in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
and most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel fulfilled to have them in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, with in no seconds, we can know what is happening in other parts of the world, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their traditions and cultures. We can work with each other, share our virtual
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
workspace and
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
support humanity in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
media is the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of connecting and these sites bring more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. Though they have an adverse impact in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this paradigm shift can never
be neglected
.

I conclude that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking applications have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the architecture of
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
connecting and
they bring more accomplishment to individuals and society. They are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
becoming part of everyone and are beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
connecting all of us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
bringing a shift when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the workspace.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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