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Some people think that you should get married before you are30. While others think you should wait until you are older . Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that you should get married before you are30. While others think you should wait until you are older. WqWMe
Most of the people think that you should obtain married before 30s while few individuals think that you should wait acquired for marriage if you are elder. This essay will intend to analyse both the views along with my perspective. To begin with, several individuals wants they get married before age of 30 because they wants increasing their happy family.   To eleborate it, even if someone thinks they acquire earlier marriage and want a baby in younger age. For instance, in U. S. A, doctor’s concerned that individuals if they get married age before 30 they have no harmone problems. They born to a healthy baby. Thus, if someone obtain marriage before 30 they have no problem in genetics.   Secondly, some individuals thinks that if they get marriage before 30 finished their study. To exemplify, in U. K, one famous couple who is topper in their university they get married before 30 and sometimes they born to a baby but they wasted their study.   Thus, some individuals thinks they do not want to marriage before 30 because they thinks they wasted their study. In conclusion, I believe that if people’s get marriage before 30 they make their life happy while some individuals do not get marriage because they think they waste their career.
Most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
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think
that you should obtain married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
30s while few
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individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that you should wait acquired for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
if you are elder. This essay will intend to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both the views along with my perspective. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, several
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individuals
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wants
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married
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before
age of 30
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "want"
wants
increasing their happy family.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
To
Possible spelling mistake found.
eleborate
it, even if someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinks
they acquire earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
a baby in younger age.
For instance
, in U. S. A, doctor’s concerned that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
30 they have no
Possible spelling mistake found.
harmone
problems. They
Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "bore"?
born
to a healthy baby.
Thus
, if someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "obtains", "obtained".
obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
30 they have no problem in genetics.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinks
that if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
30 finished their study. To exemplify, in U. K, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
couple who is topper in their university they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
30 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they born to a baby
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they wasted their study.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinks
they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
30
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "think"
thinks
they wasted their study.
In conclusion
, I believe that if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
30 they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life happy while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
they waste their career.
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IELTS essay Some people think that you should get married before you are30. While others think you should wait until you are older.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
216 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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