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Some people think that you can never become fluently in a language unless you have spent time living or working in that country v.2

Some people think that you can never become fluently in a language unless you have spent time living or working in that country v. 2
It is well acknowledged that people were unable to master a new language if they did not live or work in a particular country. While I think that living in a foreign country provide us better opportunities to acquire a second language, though it is possible to learn it in your place. There are reasons why it is better to learn language in a specific country. Firstly, it is difficult for people to become fluently in a new language if they scarcely use it in their daily life. Many people who are living in English-speaking country nowadays, in fact, can use English naturally and smoothly because they get used with the way the locals communicate and that they can learn many new words, idioms or slangs that hardly can be find in any schools’ lessons. For instance, many people claimed that they are able to hold conversations in English after five years accomodating in England depite the fact that they were totally beginners at first. On the other hand, there are factors why people can now acquire a new language without having to live in a foreign country. Firstly, in order to catch up with the globalisation, many schools around the world are now offering second language curriculums. This means, schools, especially those which hire native teachers and have exchange students from other continents, may urge the students to communicate and have a high level of proficiency in a new language. For instance, The American International school in Vietnam provides at least five periods of English class a day proved that their students can speak and write in English as good as native users. Secondly, with the appearance of Internet, many people are able to learn from a huge source of information online and also make friends with foreigners so as to enhance their language skill. To conclude, although living in a specific country let people become fluently in a new language, I believe that others factors can contribute to the progress of studying it.
It is well acknowledged that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were unable to master a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
if they did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
or work in a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that living in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
provide us better opportunities to acquire a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, though it is possible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
it in your place.

There are reasons why it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Firstly
, it is difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become
fluently
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
if they
scarcely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in their daily life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are living in English-speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
nowadays, in fact, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
English
naturally
and
smoothly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
with the way the locals communicate and that they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
words, idioms or
Possible spelling mistake found.
slangs
that hardly can be
Consider using a past participle here: "found".
find
in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools’
lessons.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claimed that they are able to hold conversations in English after five years
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodating
in England
Possible spelling mistake found.
depite
the fact that they were
totally
beginners at
first
.

On the other hand
, there are factors why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
acquire a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
without having to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Firstly
, in order to catch up with the
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
around the world are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
offering second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
curriculums. This means,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
especially
those which hire native teachers and have exchange students from other continents, may urge the students to communicate and have a high level of proficiency in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
For instance
, The American International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in Vietnam provides at least five periods of English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
a day proved that their students can speak and write in English as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as native users.
Secondly
, with the appearance of Internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from a huge source of information online and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with foreigners
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.

To conclude
, although living in a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become
fluently
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, I believe that others factors can contribute to the progress of studying it.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Some people think that you can never become fluently in a language unless you have spent time living or working in that country v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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