Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that working after graduating school should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that working after graduating school should be banned. RBqQ
In this competitive world, some people are arguing that going for a walk is extremely necessary for people's health while others believe that running more useful than walking. I concur former view and I will explain why I choose this opinion, in this essay. Running and walking are both excellent forms of exercise. Those who regularly do either typically have healthier hearts, stronger bones, and lower body weights than their partner. But walking more useful than running. Firstly walking applies to of all ages people as older people are not able to run than they can walk instead of running. Moreover, walking is the best method for the prevention of different diseases. The disease is too costly. That is why people should walk to prevent some illnesses. Eventually, some people may improve their mood and be creative think by walking. It is so useful for people's psychology and it is an opportunity to think about many things. Some people think running is more important than walking, however, it has some negatives. If some people always running then if they stop running for some reason they will be obese, this is very awful for people, especially girls. Besides, running requires a lot of strength as a result, many people are tired. The other running extremely dangerous. For instance, if people fall, they can be seriously injured break their leg. In conclusion, although some people support walking is better than walking. I believe that walking is very useful and comfortable for people's health.
In this competitive world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are arguing that going for a walk is
extremely
necessary for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health while others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
than walking. I concur former view and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I choose this opinion, in this essay.

Running and walking are both excellent forms of exercise. Those who
regularly
do either
typically
have healthier hearts, stronger bones, and lower body weights than their partner.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
walking more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
.
Firstly
walking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
of all ages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to run than they can walk
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
.
Moreover
, walking is the best method for the prevention of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diseases. The disease is too costly.
That is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should walk to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
illnesses.
Eventually
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their mood and be creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
by walking. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's psychology and it is an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than walking,
however
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
negatives. If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
then if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason they will be obese, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
awful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
girls.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
strength
as a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are tired
. The other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fall, they can be
seriously
injured break their leg.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support walking is better than walking. I believe that walking is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
and comfortable for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that working after graduating school should be banned.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts