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Some people think that women should not be allowed to work in the police force. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some people think that women should not be allowed to work in the police force. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience GljwL
It’s been observed that increasing number of women are employed in police stations now a days. Many people think that it is not a good exposure for a woman in the society. While others think that it is recognized in the society. The main reason to consider it is an opportunity is that, it is a profession recognized in the society. Hence, if a woman has the desire and the required qualification there should not be a obstacle to the carrier. In some countries the head position in police, army, navy and air force is owned by a woman when they perform excellent. Israel is in leading with the world best force including female crew. There for the equal opportunity should be given to everyone despite of the gender. The other main reason for allowing the female to work in forces is because it is set by the police law. In order to handle some cases it is mandatory a woman person to exist, for an instance if the accuser a female lady woman is ought to handle the situation. There for it is understood that the vacancies must filled with female positions too. In conclusion, I believe that both woman and men’s should be equally granted the opportunity to work in forces, out of many reasons the equal right and the legal requirement are the main causes a woman is recognized working in the military services. There for I strongly agree that it is a highly respectable job that a woman can engaged in around the world.
It’s
been observed
that increasing number of women
are employed
in police stations
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
exposure for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
in the society.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it
is recognized
in the society.

The main reason to consider it is an opportunity is that, it is a profession recognized in the society.
Hence
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
has the desire and the required qualification there should not be
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
obstacle to the carrier. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries the head position in police, army, navy and air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
when they perform excellent. Israel is in leading with the world best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
crew. There for the equal opportunity should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to everyone
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
the gender.

The other main reason for allowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
to work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forces
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
is set
by the police law. In order to handle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases it is mandatory a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
person to exist, for an instance if the accuser a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
lady
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
is ought to handle the situation. There for it
is understood
that the vacancies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
filled with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
positions too.

In conclusion
, I believe that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
’s should be
equally
granted the opportunity to work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forces
, out of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons the equal right and the legal requirement are the main causes a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
is recognized
working in the military services. There for I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is a
highly
respectable job that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
can engaged in around the world.
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IELTS essay Some people think that women should not be allowed to work in the police force. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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