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Some people think that women are generally more peaceful than men as their characters are naturally more nurturing than aggressive. To what extent do you agree/disagree.

Women are considered to be more tranquil than men by few sections on society as they are carrying carrying attitude, than getting be aggressive. I am completely agree to this point of view because women are flooded with sentiments as compare to men. To begin with, it is certainly obvious that women are more likely to remain calm in all the situations of life unlike men. In other words, women performs greater amount of responsibilities for example taking care of kids, spouse and family members without taking any stress. Moreover, it has been seen that women's in order to make their mind relax they tend to perform certain activities such as yoga and meditation which makes them even more peaceful. Whereas, the same has been missing in men and as a result they become panic easily while handling any situation. Furthermore, nurturing is an innate trait of women. As keeping an offspring nine months in her womb makes her swamped with emotions, thus develops a carrying attitude amid them. While, men spending most of their time outside in the stressful environment makes them even more chauvinism and harsh. For instance, they easily loose temper in small issues and end up with fights rather than going through with the whole scenario. To conclude, women plays a significant role in everyone's life. Hence, their nurturing attitude allows them to tackle hard situations in a peaceful manner.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
are considered
to be more tranquil than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
by few sections on society as they are
Possible typo: you repeated a word
carrying carrying
attitude, than getting be aggressive. I am completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are flooded
with sentiments as compare to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
certainly
obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are more likely to remain calm in all the situations of life unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
performs greater amount of responsibilities
for example
taking care of kids, spouse and family members without taking any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Moreover
, it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that women's in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their mind relax they tend to perform certain activities such as yoga and meditation which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them even more peaceful. Whereas, the same has been missing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
as a result
they become panic
easily
while handling any situation.
Furthermore
, nurturing is an innate trait of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. As keeping an offspring nine months in her womb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
her swamped with emotions,
thus
develops a carrying attitude amid them. While,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
spending most of their time outside in the stressful environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them even more chauvinism and harsh.
For instance
, they
easily
loose temper in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
issues and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with fights
rather
than going through with the whole scenario.
To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
plays a significant role in everyone's life.
Hence
, their nurturing attitude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to tackle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
situations
Consider replacing this phrase with the adverb “peacefully” to avoid wordiness.
in a peaceful manner
.

IELTS essay Some people think that women are generally more peaceful than men as their characters are naturally more nurturing than aggressive.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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