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In many countries, a lot of young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating from high school. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to teach them this important skill?

In this modern world, numerous teenagers don't have enough knowledge to manage their pocket money and salary, and it is because several policy and educated reasons. I will illustrate the problems and give potencial solving methods in following essay. Nowadays, there's lots of goods appealed yong people to spend their money, however, they didn't get enough educate to control themselves. Parents didn't teach them financial literacy at home so as school's teacher. Parents give their child pocket money but never taught them to keep it, so the child keep buying the things they want and doesn't think about the folloeing day. There's a lot of these kinds of example in my country. In addition to the school, the problems even get worse. Student can only learn the knowledge about the school subject, however, the school didn't build the courses like business management and financial control, so this is the problems. To solve the problems, firstly, parents should give their child more chances to follow them go shopping. Next, they should also teach them to saving the money not keep buying the things they want. Aside from educate at home, school can also open the class councering financial knowledgement and even selling the product, Therefore, when student graduate from the high school, they can easily manage their money. In conclusion, although there are some problems about student's lacking knowledge of finance, it can be solve by education at home and at school, so that young people will not be worried about money's management anymore.
In this modern world, numerous
teenagers
don't have
enough
knowledge to manage their pocket
money
and salary, and it is
because
several policy and educated reasons. I will illustrate the
problems
and give
potencial
solving methods in following essay.

Nowadays, there's lots of
goods
appealed
yong
people
to spend their
money
,
however
, they didn't
get
enough
educate to control themselves. Parents didn't teach them financial literacy at home
so
as school's teacher. Parents give their child pocket
money
but
never taught them to
keep
it,
so
the child
keep
buying the things they want and doesn't
think
about the
folloeing
day. There's
a lot of
these kinds of example in my country.
In addition
to the
school
, the
problems
even
get
worse. Student can
only
learn the knowledge about the
school
subject,
however
, the
school
didn't build the courses like business management and financial control,
so
this is the problems.

To solve the
problems
,
firstly
, parents should give their child more chances to follow them go shopping.
Next
, they should
also
teach them to
saving
the
money
not
keep
buying the things they want. Aside from educate at home,
school
can
also
open the
class
councering
financial
knowledgement
and even selling the product,
Therefore
, when student graduate from the high
school
, they can
easily
manage their money.

In conclusion
, although there are
some
problems
about student's lacking knowledge of finance, it can be
solve
by education at home and at
school
,
so
that young
people
will not
be worried
about money's management anymore.
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IELTS essay In many countries, a lot of young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating from high school. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to teach them this important skill?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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