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Some people think that watching sports in one’s free time is just a waste of time. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, the debate whether watching sports games on television is a time-waster activity lies at the heart of social dispute. As far as I am concerned, people spending their spare time watching sports have the opportunity to enhance bonding within their communities and promote a healthier lifestyle among individuals. Watching sport on television is, first and foremost, a potential for people to come together and cheer for their team. Fans watching the game together may have different status in life and they may endorse various religious beliefs or political ideologies. Yet still, when they watch the game, they have only one concern in the world which is to see their team emerge victorious. Needless to say, sporting events bring people closer amid their differences. When their team wins a victory over their rivals, it is a happy moment for all of them. Moreover, sports even foster patriotic feelings in people. Another merit of watching sports lies in inspiring ordinary people to engage in sports activities. When people watch their favourite athlete in action, they feel encouraged to stay fit and live a healthier life. For instance, teenagers adore sporting heroes and want to emulate their lifestyle. Moreover, people who watch sports matches regularly tend to live physically active lives. For example, a recent study showed that there was a 30% increase in gym memberships during the recently held World Cup Football championship. By contrast, watching other television shows or engaging in other activities during free time does not produce this effect, owing to the fact that the content is less inspiring and it does not motivate people to change their lifestyle. Thus, it is evident that watching sports in free time motivates people to engage in physical activity and live healthier lives. To conclude, watching sports is not a waste of time. It promotes stronger bonding within communities and leaves a beneficial impact on people by encouraging them to pursue a healthy way of life.
Nowadays, the debate whether watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
games on television is a time-waster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
lies at the heart of social dispute. As far as I
am concerned
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spending their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have the opportunity to enhance bonding within their communities and promote a healthier lifestyle among individuals.

Watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
on television is,
first
and foremost, a potential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together and cheer for their team. Fans watching the game together may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
status in
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they may endorse various religious beliefs or political ideologies.
Yet
still
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the game, they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one concern in the world which is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their team emerge victorious. Needless to say, sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer amid their differences. When their team wins a victory over their rivals, it is a happy moment for all of them.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
even foster patriotic feelings in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Another merit of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
lies in inspiring ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favourite’ is British English.
favourite
athlete in action, they feel encouraged to stay fit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a healthier life.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
adore sporting heroes and want to emulate their lifestyle.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
matches
regularly
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
physically
active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
For example
, a recent study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that there was a 30% increase in gym memberships during the recently held World Cup Football championship. By contrast, watching other television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
or engaging in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
during free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
does not produce this effect, owing to the fact that the content is less
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
inspiring and
it does not motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their lifestyle.
Thus
, it is evident that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
motivates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to engage in physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
healthier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To conclude
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is not a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It promotes stronger bonding within communities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
a beneficial impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by encouraging them to pursue a healthy way of life.
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IELTS essay Some people think that watching sports in one’s free time is just a waste of time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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