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Some people think that watching sports in one's free time is just a waste of time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? v.4

Some people think that watching sports in one's free time is just a waste of time. with the statement? v. 4
it is often argued by some that games spectators are completely wasting their time. In my opinion, however, enjoying the sport in spare time is beneficial and advantageous as it teaches us the vital role of teamwork as well as sparks the feeling of patriotism. Firstly, it could be considered that sport provides us with an insight into the importance of soft skills such as teamwork and leadership. In other words, most of the games require coordination between team members and better leadership to win the game. So, watching players executing these skills to trump over opponents can be a learning aspect for people. For instance, low-ranked Zimbabwe defeating star-studded India highlighted the importance of team dynamics required for winning rather than just having talented players. Secondly, watching sport in leisure time is often regarded as a perfect time to revive the feeling of brotherhood and patriotism. To be more clear, the feelings of love for the country and a sense of togetherness comes stronger when people watch their country playing in the international tournament. Muslims and Hindus enjoying cricket match together and chanting for the country could perfectly exemplify the crucial role of sport in strengthening the relationship between people. To conclude, the sport is not wasting our time as it has taught us the role of group work as well as promoted the social harmony and the feeling of love for the nation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that games spectators are completely wasting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In my opinion,
however
, enjoying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is beneficial and advantageous as it teaches us the vital role of teamwork
as well
as sparks the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
of patriotism.

Firstly
, it could
be considered
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
provides us with an insight into the importance of soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as teamwork and leadership.
In other words
, most of the games require coordination between team members and better leadership to win the game.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, watching players executing these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to trump over opponents can be a learning aspect
Did you mean "to"?
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For instance
, low-ranked Zimbabwe defeating star-studded India highlighted the importance of team dynamics required for winning
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
having talented players.

Secondly
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
regarded as a perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to revive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
of brotherhood and patriotism. To be more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feelings
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for the country and a sense of togetherness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
stronger when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their country playing in the international tournament. Muslims and Hindus enjoying cricket match together and chanting for the country could
perfectly
exemplify the crucial role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in strengthening the relationship between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is not wasting our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as it has taught us the role of group work
as well
as promoted the social harmony and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for the nation.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that watching sports in one's free time is just a waste of time. with the statement? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
235 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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