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Some people think that using animals for experimentation purpose is cruel but other people think that it is necessary for the development of science Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Some people think that using animals for experimentation purpose is cruel but other people think that it is necessary for the development of science 2
The advancement in economy and technology simultaneously with the increasing demand for many essential products and drugs to satisfy all human needs have cost a tremendous amount of animal' s lives. Even sacrificing their lives is essential for the future of science, it is still a cruel action when we think of it. In this essay, I will look at some of the merits and demerits of this ongoing animal exploitation. Let us begin by looking at the advantages this can bring to our lives. First of all, being able to successfully deliver a type of drugs or daily products into the commercial market is not easy, as people can only the tip of the iceberg. Obviously, scientists have to conduct hundreds of experiments in which killing animals are likely to be involved. For example, the shampoo brand or the soap bar we are using probably has been tested on monkeys before they come into our hands to ensure safety for end-users. Furthermore, the genes in some kind of animals are completely different from human' s. In some cases of a certain type of cockroaches, their genes are continually reviving to create a new body part when there is a missing limb. This incredible scientific finding can aid scientists to come up with an astonishing method to heal people in further future. On the other hand, animals are being exploited every day to serve our purposes. The significance of protecting animals from poachers and preserving their habitats is necessary because they are part of the nature that keeps us alive. Domestic animals such as dogs and cats are extremely loyal to us, and some animals even play an important role in our lives. In conclusion, while everybody agrees that exploiting animals is a sign of cruelty, using animals for experimentation is necessary for the development of science to some extent. Personally, I think that the goverment should be able to balance between restricting freely animals killing and using animals for reseaching.
The advancement in economy and technology
simultaneously
with the increasing demand for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
essential products and drugs to satisfy all human needs have cost a tremendous amount of
Possible spelling mistake found.
animal&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Even sacrificing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
is essential for the future of science, it is
still
a cruel action when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of it. In this essay, I will look at
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
merits and demerits of this ongoing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
exploitation.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by looking at the advantages this can bring to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, being able to
successfully
deliver a type of drugs or daily products into the commercial market is not easy, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the tip of the iceberg.
Obviously
, scientists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
conduct hundreds of experiments in which killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are likely to
be involved
.
For example
, the shampoo brand or the soap bar we are using
probably
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
on monkeys
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into our hands to ensure safety for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
-users.
Furthermore
, the genes in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases of a certain type of cockroaches, their genes are
continually
reviving to create a new body part when there is a missing limb. This incredible scientific finding can aid scientists to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with an astonishing method to heal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
further
future.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
being exploited
every day to serve our purposes. The significance of protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from poachers and preserving their habitats is necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are part of the nature that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
us alive. Domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
such as dogs and cats are
extremely
loyal to us, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
even play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, while everybody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that exploiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of cruelty, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for experimentation is necessary for the development of science to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
should be able to balance between restricting
freely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
killing and using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
reseaching
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that using animals for experimentation purpose is cruel but other people think that it is necessary for the development of science 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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