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Some people think that university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give y v.1

Some people think that university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. 1
Many people think that increasing the number of sports facilities is the best way to improve public health, whereas some people opine this method is not effective and should use other ways. In my opinion, the society which has enough sports facilities is positive for public health, but increasing healthy behaviours of people are more important. Initially, sports facilities are necessary for support people play sports. People will healthier when they have more physical activities, but many illnesses can not cure by exercise. If people are smoking too much, they will have some health problems even if they exercise usually. For example, my uncle was a strong person who did a lot of physical activity, but he smokes a lot too. Recently, he has a vision problem and his eyes need to cure, these because of smoking. Even if, sports can improve people’s health, but it cannot destroy unhealthy habits. The way to decrease unhealthy behaviours in society is changing people’s habits by use effective health campaigns. Many people unaware about the effects of unhealthy behaviours, and do it as normally. The government should promote health campaigns to change this situation, this way can improve public health sustainable. When people have knowledge about health, they will avoid behaviours that bad for their health. Reduce Belly - a health campaign in Thailand, for instance, this campaign introduces people to avoid junk food, and also suggests useful easy physical activity tips. In conclusion, increasing amount of sports facilities is a good way, but make people aware about their health is better method. In my opinion, health campaigns can improve public health by change people behaviours in a positive way which more healthy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
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think
that increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities is the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, whereas
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some
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people
opine this method is not effective and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
other ways. In my opinion, the society which has
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enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities is
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positive
for
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public
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health
,
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but
increasing healthy
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
of
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people
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Initially
,
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sports
facilities are necessary for support
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people
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will healthier when they have more physical activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
illnesses can not cure by exercise. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are smoking too much, they will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems even if they exercise
usually
.
For example
, my uncle was a strong person who did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
physical activity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he smokes a lot too. Recently, he has a vision problem and his eyes need to cure, these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of smoking. Even if,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
unhealthy habits.

The way to decrease unhealthy
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
in society is changing
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people’s
habits by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
effective
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health
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campaigns
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
unaware about the effects of unhealthy
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
, and do it as
normally
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should promote
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health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campaigns
to
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change
this situation, this way can
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improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
sustainable. When
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people
have knowledge about
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health
, they will avoid
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Reduce
Belly
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
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campaign
in Thailand,
for instance
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campaign
introduces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to avoid junk food, and
also
suggests useful easy physical activity tips.

In conclusion
, increasing amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is better method. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campaigns
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way which more healthy.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Some people think that university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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