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some people think that traditional teaching of teachers and student in the class will not exist by 2050 .Do you agree or disagree

some people think that traditional teaching of teachers and student in the class will not exist by 2050. wxMY3
Traditional teaching is a method of teaching students in the class where teachers give away their all knowledge to the children's face to face. Some individuals believe that conventional teaching of tutors and childrens in the class will fade away by the year 2050. According to my perspective, I agree with the belief because of some reasons which I will discuss in the subsequent paragraphs. To commence with; Firstly, continuous advancement in the technology will indeed replace the old teaching methods in the class. There are various study materials available such as video lectures with explanation like extramarks class is adopted in some parts of the school which as a result is making students dependent on modern technology rather than teachers. Moreover neglection towards studies by children to get relief from the workload of studies is another cause for non existence of traditional teaching by 2050. For example students do not come to school and prepare themselves by seeing video lectures in cell phones or by taking tuition classes. Consequently, these reasons will surely have great impact for decline of traditional teaching. Furthermore, schools might replace teachers with computers to save money and invest on the modern technology to be set up in every school in the near future. Thus, it will save a lot of money. To conclude, the above paragraph highlights the reason to why conventional teaching of teachers and students in the class will not exist by 2050.
Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
is a method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
where teachers give away their all knowledge to the children's face to face.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals believe that conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
of tutors and
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will fade away by the year 2050. According to my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the belief
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons which I will discuss in the subsequent paragraphs.

To commence with;
Firstly
, continuous advancement in the technology will
indeed
replace the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
methods in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. There are various study materials available such as video lectures with explanation like
Possible spelling mistake found.
extramarks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is adopted
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
which
as a result
is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
dependent on modern technology
rather
than teachers.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
Possible spelling mistake found.
neglection
towards studies by children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relief from the workload of studies is another cause for
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
non existence
of traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
by 2050.
For example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and prepare themselves by seeing video lectures in cell phones or by taking tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
Consequently
, these reasons will
surely
have great impact for decline of traditional teaching.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
might replace teachers with computers to save money and invest on the modern technology to
be set
up in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in the near future.
Thus
, it will save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money.

To conclude
, the above paragraph highlights the reason to why conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
of teachers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will not exist by 2050.
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IELTS essay some people think that traditional teaching of teachers and student in the class will not exist by 2050.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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