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descibe a vacation you have been on

descibe a vacation you have been on J0Y6D
I never forget the vacation that I spent in Da Nang, a stunning costal city in the central Vietnam, with my best friend for five days. We decided to get there by flight as it was much time saving and convenient than travelling by train. After one hour of flying, we finally landed in Da Nang. We did some sightseeing in Da Nang: Cao Dai Temple, Da Nang Cathedral, the Cham museum and so on. Then we went to My Khe beach, took a dip in crystal clear water and haved some suntan on the strecthing white sandy beach. We also spent time to do more other activities: walked up the hills Marble Mountains where you will able to take in all the best views over the countryside, took part in many events such as music and food festivals, street magic shows. Da Nang is a very fascinating place, there were so much activity and wonderful places to visit. Da Nang also has many glamorous bridges, and I loved it there, because it was like nowhere I had ever seen before. I definitely enjoyed our vacation trip in Da Nang. It is an amazing experience that I have in my life, and I will certainly be back there in coming years.
I never forget the vacation that I spent in
Da
Nang
, a stunning
costal
city in the central Vietnam, with my best friend for five days. We decided to
get
there by flight as it was much time saving and
convenient
than travelling by train. After one hour of flying, we
finally
landed in
Da
Nang
. We did
some
sightseeing in
Da
Nang
:
Cao
Dai
Temple,
Da
Nang
Cathedral, the
Cham
museum and
so
on. Then we went to My
Khe
beach, took a dip in crystal
clear
water and
haved
some
suntan on the
strecthing
white sandy beach. We
also
spent time to do more other activities: walked up the hills Marble Mountains where you
will able
to take in all the best views over the countryside,
took part
in
many
events
such as music and food festivals, street magic
shows
.
Da
Nang
is a
very
fascinating place, there were
so
much activity and wonderful places to visit.
Da
Nang
also
has
many
glamorous bridges, and I
loved
it there,
because
it was like nowhere I had ever
seen
before
. I definitely enjoyed our vacation trip in
Da
Nang
. It is an amazing experience that I have in my life, and I will
certainly
be back there in coming years.
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IELTS essay descibe a vacation you have been on

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
211 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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