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Personally, I believe that If one manages his own money in the early life, then in his adulthood, he will become a financially responsible person.

Personally, I believe that If one manages his own money in the early life, then in his adulthood, he will become a financially responsible person. wxMW3
Personally, I believe that If one manages his own money in the early life, then in his adulthood, he will become a financially responsible person. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explain in the following essay. To begin with, It takes a long time to build a habit. If one starts to earn money for managing his lifestyle from an early age, then he will make it a habit. As a result, In his later life, he will never depend on others' money because living on his own money will be his habit. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. I started to earn money when I was in class six. From that time, I never took any money from my parents because living on my own has become my habit. Furthermore, living on own money keeps people away from wasting money. If a person starts to survive on his own money from an early age, he will spend money wisely. This is because he already knows how tough is money-making. As a result, he will do the same thing in his adulthood. For example, I have a friend whose father is very rich. My friend never earned money at a young age. He usually took money from his father to maintain his lifestyle. He wasted a lot of money because he didn't know how hard is money-making. But when he started a job after graduation her father stopped giving him money. The money he got by doing the job was not enough to maintain his young age's lifestyle as wasting money was his habit. Hence, he became depressed. In conclusion, I will say, to become financially responsible in adulthood, one should earn money from an early age. This is because it will build a habit of earning money to meet own needs and it will teach how to spend money wisely.
Personally
, I believe that If one manages his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
life, then in his adulthood, he will become a
financially
responsible person. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, It takes a long time to build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
. If one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for managing his lifestyle from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, then he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
.
As a result
, In his later life, he will never depend on others'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
living on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will be his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
when I was in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
six. From that time, I never took any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from my parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
living on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
has become my habit.

Furthermore
, living on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
away from wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. If a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to survive on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, he will spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
wisely
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he already knows how tough is money-making.
As a result
, he will do the same thing in his adulthood.
For example
, I have a friend whose father is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rich. My friend never earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
at a young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. He
usually
took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from his father to maintain his lifestyle. He wasted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he didn't know how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
is money-making.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
a job after graduation her father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
giving him
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
by doing the job was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to maintain his young age's lifestyle as wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
was his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
.
Hence
, he became depressed.

In conclusion
, I will say, to become
financially
responsible in adulthood, one should earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
of earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
needs and it will teach how to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
wisely
.

IELTS essay Personally, I believe that If one manages his own money in the early life, then in his adulthood, he will become a financially responsible person.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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