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Many children have an unhealthy life style these days and the role of school and their family are very important to figure out this problem.

Many children have an unhealthy life style these days and the role of school and their family are very important to figure out this problem. R2WNP
Many children have an unhealthy life style these days and the role of school and their family are very important to figure out this problem. New generation children have really bad habits and most of them have not healthy life style. They are eating junk foods and fast foods and in other hand they have low activity, they don’t play physically games, or they don’t go school by cycling or by walk, most of them play computer games and have online or virtual activities while their nutrients are not good enough for their growing age. As a result, we can see many children with Obesity and diabetes in the age 5 to 15 years old. There are big responsibilities for the children's parent and their school, for solving these problems, family and educational system have to involve and help each other, in my opinion, parent's responsibility is providing enough nutrient healthy food for their children, even with that they are busy with work and duties but, they shouldn't ignore their responsibility as parent. Parent should make a healthy breakfast for children not just grape some serial and milk, it is important to younger learn to eat plenty of fresh healthy food in morning, also parent should make some role for play computer games and encourage their children to go out and play football, basketball, ride a bike and do exercise. Also, there are some responsibilities for schools too, it is better to server lots of vegetable and fish in lunchtime and give nuts and milk for breaking time instead of ice cream and unhealthy snacks In conclusion, the role of family and school is very important for children and teenager's life style, hygiene, and health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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children
have an unhealthy life style these days and the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and their family are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to figure out this problem.

New generation
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children
have
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits and most of them have not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life style. They are eating junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and in other hand they have low activity, they don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
physically
games, or they don’t go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
by cycling or by walk, most of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
computer games and have online or virtual activities while their nutrients are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for their growing age.
As a result
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with Obesity and diabetes in the age 5 to 15 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
for the children's
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parent
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, for solving these problems, family and educational system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
involve and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other, in my opinion, parent's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
is providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
nutrient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, even with that they are busy with work and duties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, they shouldn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parent
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
breakfast for
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children
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
grape
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serial and milk, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to younger learn to eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in morning,
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
role for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
computer games and encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to go out and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
football, basketball, ride a bike and do exercise.

Also
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
too, it is better to server lots of vegetable and fish in lunchtime and give nuts and milk for breaking time
instead
of ice cream and unhealthy snacks

In conclusion
, the role of family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
's life style, hygiene, and health.
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IELTS essay Many children have an unhealthy life style these days and the role of school and their family are very important to figure out this problem.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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