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Some people think that tobacco products result in diseases such as cancer and these products should be banned . Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that tobacco products result in diseases such as cancer and these products should be banned. Jwnb5
In this modern era, people are getting addicted to smoking and other 5obacco products which result in diseases such as cancer and it may also cause death. Some people argue that these products should be banned in order to secure public. I opine that the banning of these products is not only the solution. I totally disagree with the statement. The predominant one is people may attracted to these items. If government banned the tobacco products then one may get more attracted to it and there is high likelihood to consume these in illegal ways. Secondly, by banning these items, businesses could be done secretly by big entrepreneurs. In Gujarat, for instance, alcohol is banned but according to some researchers in 2017, 37% of the alcohol is supplied and sold in this area over India. Furthermore, by awaring people about smoking and other harmful products, these problems can be curved. To elaborate it, nowadays people do not known much about it and they are taking it in funny way. Some people are drinking alcohol for maintaining their status in the society. Thus, by fully inspiring them, masses can be stopped using this products. To conclude, although some folks are addicted to alcohol and smoking products but only banning is not the solution. I believe that there is high time government aware people about the cons of tobacco products instead of using other methods.
In this modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting addicted to smoking and other 5obacco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which result in diseases such as cancer and it may
also
cause death.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
should
be banned
in order to secure public. I opine that the banning of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the solution. I
totally
disagree with the statement.

The predominant one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
Did you mean "attract" or "be attracted"?
attracted
to these items. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
banned the tobacco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
then one may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more attracted to it and there is high likelihood to consume these in illegal ways.
Secondly
, by banning these items, businesses could
be done
secretly
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
entrepreneurs. In Gujarat,
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
is banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
researchers in 2017, 37% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
is supplied
and sold in this area over India.

Furthermore
, by
Possible spelling mistake found.
awaring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about smoking and other harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, these problems can
be curved
. To elaborate it, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "know"?
known
much about
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they are taking it in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
for maintaining their status in the society.
Thus
, by
fully
inspiring them, masses can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
using
Did you mean "these"?
this
products.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
folks
are addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
and smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
banning is not the solution. I believe that there is high time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
aware
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the cons of tobacco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
instead
of using other methods.
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IELTS essay Some people think that tobacco products result in diseases such as cancer and these products should be banned.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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