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Some people think that to be successful, you need to get a university degree, whereas others say it is not true. Discuss both the ideas.

Some people think that to be successful, you need to get a university degree, whereas others say it is not true. RNwMp
Technology is regarded as cradle of various entertainment means. A rapid rise in TV channels has been observed in contemporary times. A section of society argues that it is beneficial as there will be more alternatives, whereas a certain class thinks it hampers the worth of shows. In this essay, I will discuss both the sides of the given argument and will reach to an appropriate conclusion. A group favours multiple programs primarily because of the range it offers. With increased number, the variety of genre is available which interest individuals. Often, the liking for anything differs from person to person, so everyone can benefit with type of shows they like. To illustrate, Zee TV, a famous Indian entertainment channel, maintained highest TRP for consecutive 5 years as the shows involved categories like crime, food, movies and songs. On the contrary, there are people who think the value of programs decline if they are in bulk. Foremost, in order to provide multiple shows, there is a compulsion on TV producers. Consequently they come up with any type of show which might not be appealing but just for the sake. For example, currently, people prefer to watch TV only on specific time for a particular show which they like as they do not find every program interesting. To conclude, although both the sides have their own intrinsic worth, I think having limited but meaningful programs are more appropriate than just having them for the sake of having them. Such programs are meant for the entertainment of individuals, if they do not fulfil that objective then it is of no use.
Technology
is regarded
as cradle of various entertainment means. A rapid rise in TV channels has
been observed
in contemporary times. A section of society argues that it is beneficial as there will be more alternatives, whereas a certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
it hampers the worth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
. In this essay, I will discuss both the sides of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
argument and will reach to an appropriate conclusion.

A group
Possible spelling mistake. 'favours' is British English.
favours
multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
primarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the range it offers. With increased number, the variety of genre is available which interest individuals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
, the liking for anything differs from person to person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everyone can benefit with type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
they like. To illustrate,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zee
TV, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Indian entertainment channel, maintained highest TRP for consecutive 5 years as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
involved categories like crime, food, movies and songs.

On the contrary
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
decline if they are in bulk. Foremost, in order to provide multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
, there is a compulsion on TV producers.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with any type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
which might not be appealing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the sake.
For example
,
currently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on specific time for a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
which they like as they do not find every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
interesting.

To conclude
, although both the sides have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
intrinsic worth, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
having limited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
meaningful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are more appropriate than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
having them for the sake of having them. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are meant
for the entertainment of individuals, if they do not fulfil that objective then it is of no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that to be successful, you need to get a university degree, whereas others say it is not true.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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