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Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which one do you prefer? v.4

Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which one do you prefer? v. 4
People are learning through their entire life. Our first teachers in most cases are our parents. They teach us to walk, speak, behave ourselves, etc. They with great patience pass down their knowledge and experience to their children. There is no doubt that we need our parents to learn essential things. Parents giving their knowledge prepare children to join the "real world". So, at this point, we need teachers to learn some basic things. When children go to a school or college they have there many teachers who help them study more difficult and complicated things. Personally, I think that young people need teachers because in most cases they basically do not understand yet the importance of learning some "uninteresting things" such as logic, literature, grammatical, etc. So, teachers keep children on track and sometimes make them learn. I think, at adolescence and young need teachers because they help them develop and improve themselves in order to succeed in life. However, I believe that when a person is no longer a child and he has a job and lives an independent life he can choose how he is going to study. As for me, my choice between studying by myself or with somebody's help depends on a teacher. If a teacher has very interesting lectures and gives many examples from different resources I will attend his or her classes with great pleasure. However, if a teacher has dry and boring lectures and does not try to make them interesting I will get some books and study this subject by myself. It saves me time and probably some money if I take books in a library. So, basically, some teachers can give their students so much in a short period of time that it is worth to spend one's time attending lectures. At the same time, from my point of view, other teachers can not give me the knowledge I need at my pace.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are learning through their entire life. Our
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in most cases
are our parents. They teach us to walk, speak, behave ourselves, etc. They with great patience pass down their knowledge and experience to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. There is no doubt that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
our parents to learn essential things. Parents giving their knowledge prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
real world
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, at this point, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic things.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
go to a school or college they have there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them study more difficult and complicated things.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in most cases
they
basically
do not understand
yet
the importance of learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
uninteresting things
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
such as logic, literature, grammatical, etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them learn. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, at adolescence and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them develop and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves in order to succeed in life.

However
, I believe that when a person is no longer a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
child and
he has a job and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
an independent life he can choose how he is going to study. As for me, my choice between studying by myself or with somebody's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
depends on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting lectures and gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
examples from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
resources I will attend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
classes with great pleasure.
However
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
has dry and boring lectures and does not try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them interesting I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
books and study this subject by myself. It saves me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
probably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money if I take books in a library.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
basically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can give their students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much in a short period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that it is worth to spend one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
attending lectures. At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, from my point of view, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can not give me the knowledge I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
at my pace.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which one do you prefer? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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