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some people think that they can go to the gym to remain fit ,while others think that there are other better ways to do this discuss both the views and give your answers

some people think that they can go to the gym to remain fit, while others think that there are other better ways to do this discuss both the views and give your answers OE0Ok
Exercise is a better way to stay fit and fine. A group of people who think that people can remain healthy by go to the gym. on other hand people think that there are some another ways to remain perfect. I have some points to prove my point of view. To begin with, there is a stratum of society who opine that exercise in the gym is a better way to stay energetic. It has all types of machine to do exercise it has a motivated environment because when all the people were doing exercise we will motivated to see them. People can higher a gym trainer to do exercise in a right manner or properly. Noticeably, gym trainer can suggest you a proper diet chart so we can know about what is healthy for our body. For example - some people go to the gym regularly and they take care of their diet and they see very confident and wealthy. Alternatively, there is another group of people who opine that there are many another way to do this. park, house, ground are also the better way to do exercise. people can go to the walk for 2 times in a day and riding a bicycle is also a best exercise. For instance when i go to somewhere i see that many people riding on bicycle in the early morning. To sum up I beleive that gym is a better way but there are another many ways to stay energetic.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Exercise
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to stay fit and fine. A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can remain healthy by go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to remain perfect. I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
points to prove my point of view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is a stratum of society who opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to stay energetic. It has all types of machine to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
it has a motivated environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
we will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "motivate"
motivated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can higher a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
trainer to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
Consider replacing "in a right manner" with the adverb for "right"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a right manner
or
properly
.
Noticeably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
trainer can suggest you a proper diet chart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can know about what is healthy for our body.
For example
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
regularly and
they take care of their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
diet and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
confident and wealthy.
Alternatively
, there is another group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who opine that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to do this.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
park
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, ground are
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
can go to the walk for 2 times in a day and riding a bicycle is
also
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
For instance
when
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
There isn't usually a preposition before "somewhere". Did you mean "go somewhere"?
go to somewhere
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
riding on bicycle in the early morning. To sum up I
Possible spelling mistake found.
beleive
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to stay energetic.
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IELTS essay some people think that they can go to the gym to remain fit, while others think that there are other better ways to do this discuss both the views and give your answers

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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