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Some people prefer activities and lifestyles in hot climates, while others prefer living in cold climates. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people prefer activities and lifestyles in hot climates, while others prefer living in cold climates. NWKOq
It is argued that some individual of the preference to do activities and lifestyles in summer weather, whereas others consider that dwelling in cold climates. However summer season is best for the public's health and they also can play outdoor games, still i believe that winter season is beneficial for the workers, tourists as well as this season is a wedding season. To commence with, there are some reasons why individual prefer to hot climates? Because summer season is best for the people of the health, this season people can access vitamin D from the sun rays. Not only community of the health is good in this season, but also individual can wear fashionable clothes. Additionally, children and adults most like this season, owing to they can to do play outdoor games such as football, cricket and so on. Thus, playing outdoor games people can boost their brain system level and also fit their body. In contrast, winter season is most beneficial for the employees because during this season, they get holidays from the job and can spend time with their family members as well their work productivity is increase. Besides this, people make a tourists to go in different places for spending their holidays. For instance, in Shimla, individual prefer to go in this city, because where people can enjoy snowing falls. Moreover, individual can wear woolen clothes throughout winter season and also people organize weddings during this season. To conclude, although people from the summer season can get vitamins and playing outdoors games, yet winter season is better for the workers and tourism because during this climate people can spend time with their family members and loved one's.
It
is argued
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
of the preference to do activities and lifestyles in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
weather, whereas others consider that dwelling in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
climates.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
season
is best for the public's
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
they
also
can play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
still
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
season
is beneficial for the workers, tourists
as well
as this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
season
is a wedding season.

To commence with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
prefer to hot climates?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
season
is best for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the health, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
season
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access vitamin D from the sun rays. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
community of the health is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
season
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can wear fashionable clothes.
Additionally
, children and adults most like this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
season
, owing to they can to do play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
such as football, cricket and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Thus
, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can boost their brain system level and
also
fit their body.

In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
season
is most beneficial for the employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
during this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
season
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
holidays from the job and can spend time with their family members
as well
their work productivity is increase.
Besides
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a tourist" or simply "tourists"?
a tourists
to go in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places for spending their holidays.
For instance
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shimla
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
prefer to go in this city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy snowing falls.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can wear woolen clothes throughout
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
season
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
organize weddings during this season.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
season
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
vitamins and playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
yet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
season
is better for the workers and tourism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
during this climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can spend time with their family members and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one's.
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IELTS essay Some people prefer activities and lifestyles in hot climates, while others prefer living in cold climates.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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