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Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.9

Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want. v. 9
People have different views about the noise restriction, some people believe that they have the right to make as much noise as they like while others think that government should have an indispensable measures to lessen noise. In my point of view, I agree with the idea that the noise should be limited in certain level. On one hand, there are several reasons why people tend to creat as much noise as they want. Firstly, making noise helps people feel more comfortable and relaxed after hard – working day. Since stressed and burden of work are popular for people in daily life, turning the volume louder to enjoy their favorite song allowing them relaxing and getting freedom. In addition, people seems to consider noise as a part of life as industrialization and mordenization process. For example, people are often familiar with traffic noise, factories noise. Therefore, it is no need to dwindle noise in our life. On the other hand, some people belive that government should control noise produced because of some reasons. First all of, noise produced can dramatically affect to people’s health. Listening to a louder noise constantly in a living place can cause problems such as ears disease, headaches and the like. Furthermore, noise can disturb people’s work and study. For instant, a university student can not concentrate to his exam because of noise surrounding him. As a result, he may get bad result at the exam. In conclusion, although creating noise can help people feel relaxed when they get stressed, I more agree that government should apply some essential measures to reduce the noise to protect our life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
restriction,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that they have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
as much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
as they like while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should have an indispensable measures to lessen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
. In my point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
should
be limited
in certain level.

On one hand, there are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
Possible spelling mistake found.
creat
as much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
as they want.
Firstly
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel more comfortable and relaxed after
A dash was used instead of a hyphen. Did you mean: "hard-working".
hard – working
day. Since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and burden of work are popular for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in daily life, turning the volume louder to enjoy their favorite song allowing them relaxing and getting freedom.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
seems
to consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
as a part of life as industrialization and
Possible spelling mistake found.
mordenization
process.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
familiar with traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
, factories
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
.
Therefore
, it is no need to dwindle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
in our life.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
produced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
First
all of,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
produced can
dramatically
affect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health. Listening to a louder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
constantly
in a living place can cause problems such as ears disease, headaches and the like.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
can disturb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
work and study. For instant, a university student can not concentrate to his exam
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
surrounding him.
As a result
, he may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
result at the exam.

In conclusion
, although creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel relaxed when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
, I more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should apply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
to protect our life.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
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Munia Khan

IELTS essay Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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