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Some of the endangered species of animals and birds are getting extinct.

Some of the endangered species of animals and birds are getting extinct. VQAG6
Due to advancement, plethora of forests are cleared by industries and other buildings. Which is really harmful for animals and also birds. This essay is an attempt to address the reasons and some viable solutions to resolve it. To commence with, a lot of root causes can be noticed. First of all, the land of forests is utilizing for commercial purposes it means, wilds are cleared by people because myriad of industries and also residents areas are constructed the place of forests. Moreover, trees are cut by individuals due to need of wooden and houshold things as well, due to which home of animals and birds are diplicted and they put into threat because they are not safe from hunters and also natural disasters due to which they can be lost their lives. To curb it, government should organize conservation events so that most of the people can be aweared and also open national parks and zoos so that species can be lived their life securely. Another undeniable fact is, enhancement in water and air traffic to precise it, nowadays people can be visited other places by air and water transport modes but due to traffic some animals and birds cannot live life long because they have to need of open and water for fully growing but with the traffic many hurdles are seen by species for instance, whales, tortoises, sparrows, cows and so on. To resolve it, authorities should be made some strict guidelines for air and water transport systems to less harmful toxic in the environment should be emitted. To conclude, a lot of root causes can be recognised but human beings have strength to control them with the help of government and also other public and the extinction of species can be controlled.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to advancement, plethora of forests
are cleared
by industries and other buildings. Which is
really
harmful for animals and
also
birds. This essay is an attempt to address the reasons and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
viable solutions to resolve it. To commence with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
root causes can
be noticed
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the land of forests is utilizing for commercial purposes it means, wilds
are cleared
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
myriad of industries and
also
residents areas
are constructed
the place of forests.
Moreover
, trees are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
by individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to need of wooden and
Possible spelling mistake found.
houshold
things
as well
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which home of animals and birds are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
diplicted and
they put into threat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not safe from hunters and
also
natural disasters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which they can
be lost
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To curb it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should organize conservation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
aweared
and
also
open national parks and zoos
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that species can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
their life
securely
. Another undeniable fact is, enhancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and air traffic to precise it, nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
be visited
other places by air and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
transport modes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to traffic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
animals and birds cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
life long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
need of open and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for
fully
growing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the traffic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hurdles are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by species
for instance
, whales, tortoises, sparrows, cows and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. To resolve it, authorities should
be made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict guidelines for air and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
transport systems to less harmful toxic in the environment should
be emitted
.
To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
root causes can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
human beings have strength to control them with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
also
other public and the extinction of species can
be controlled
.
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IELTS essay Some of the endangered species of animals and birds are getting extinct.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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