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Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of the most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of the most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. v. 1
So, according to the belief of some individuals when a person is young, he is extremely joyful, but on the other hand, some believe that as when people get older they might get more burden but they enjoy most in the twenties. So I will share my views in this essay on both perspectives. Firstly talking about young one, yes, I agree with that age a child is a carefree who doesn't have to think much about what exactly is going on in life so there are more chances of being amused. For example, if I talk about when I was a teenager, I was not bothered about people's opinion of me and I used to live like I think is best, so consequently I have lived that phase with full of enthusiasm and energy. On the other hand, if I talk about a juvenile, yes, there are lots of expectancy, of the person as he is no longer the carefree version, but still at this people get to do and explore things which was restricted for a minor. For instance, if we talk about driving a car, having the right to vote and also taking part in other activities which law allowed people after they are no longer a juvenile. Because even the surveys show that how much young craves for the activities that will be done after the turns old. As a result, they will enjoy more in this age. So to conclude, I will restate that I believe the teenager version of a person is more enjoyable because at that time, there is not much thinking involved and hence more chances of enjoyment and staying happy. So certainly I would say that youth age is best to enjoy and explore the journey with extreme happiness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, according to the belief of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals when a person is young, he is
extremely
joyful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that as when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more burden
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they enjoy most in the twenties.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I will share my views in this essay on both perspectives.

Firstly
talking about young one, yes, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that age a child is a carefree who doesn't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
much about what exactly is going on in life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there are more chances of
being amused
.
For example
, if I talk about when I was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
, I was not bothered about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's opinion of me and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
like I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is best,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
consequently
I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
that phase with full of enthusiasm and energy.

On the other hand
, if I talk about a juvenile, yes, there are lots of expectancy, of the person as he is no longer the carefree version,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
at this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to do and explore things which
was restricted
for a minor.
For instance
, if we talk about driving a car, having the right to vote and
also
taking part in other activities which law
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
after they are no longer a juvenile.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
even the surveys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that how much young craves for the activities that will
be done
after the turns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
As a result
, they will enjoy more in this age.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
to conclude
, I will restate that I believe the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
version of a person is more enjoyable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at that time, there is not much thinking involved and
hence
more chances of enjoyment and staying happy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
certainly
I would say that youth age is best to enjoy and explore the journey with extreme happiness.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of the most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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