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Some people think that the role of parents is to discipline their children and teach them about right and wrong .Other people consider that the main responsibility of parents is to nurture their children and provide them with a safe environment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that the role of parents is to discipline their children and teach them about right and wrong. Other people consider that the main responsibility of parents is to nurture their children and provide them with a safe environment. kyeN
Some people argue that the  discipline of  one’s children as well as teaching them to discriminate the things beyond us is the obligation of parents, whereas others claim that they must be responsible for growing up well and protect from danger by creating guarded place. I will analyze  and present my view in favor of  having authority to children. The most crucial thing that I have to mention about is upbringing which is taught to them to live fully and defining what is good or not. It is considered of the compulsion in parents, owing to the fact that children spend much of their time with their family although some of them squander it on other activities or education. However, on the other hand we should not ought to take all responsibilities   for parents, the reason behind this, most of them are to work and because of  lack of time, it had better them to spend that time with having a joy with them not to teach anything else. Teaching mostly is the work of teachers, but it doesn’t mean that parents should not. All in all, both parents and teachers should be those people who have to work on childrens’ discipline. Yet, others strongly believed that the primary role is focusing on their environment of dwelling rather than concentrating attention at study. Because, supplying children with a safe environment  to grow up in plays an essential role in not only their health, but also being talented enough to learn. Therefore, most people argue the teaching is the work of tutors, while parents should keep track their  condition of living. In accordance with the researches of identifying how much time parents spend  on children and for what they mostly focus on: teaching or supplying with necesitties  are shown that the majority of them are busy with working in comparison to educating, thus we can say from that almost everyone  think more about creating sufficient and unharmful place and nurturing is more vital than teaching what is right or wrong. To sum up, even though both views have important points, I think teaching children  to realize the life by explaining positive and negative effect on anything we are doing is the main role of parents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that the
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
discipline of
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
them to discriminate the things beyond us is the obligation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, whereas others claim that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be responsible for growing up well and protect from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
by creating guarded place. I will analyze
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
and present my view in favor of
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
having authority to children.

The most crucial thing that I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
Did you mean simply "mention is"? You do not need the word "about" here.
mention about is
upbringing which
is taught
to them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
fully
and defining what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or not. It
is considered
of the compulsion in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, owing to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend much of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them squander it on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities or education.
However
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand we should not ought to take all responsibilities
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
  
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, the reason behind this, most of them are to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
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lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, it had
Possible agreement error – use past participle here: "bettered", "welled".
better
them to spend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with having a joy with them not to teach anything else.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teaching
mostly
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
of teachers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it doesn’t mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not. All in all, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers should be those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
’ discipline.

Yet
, others
strongly
believed that the primary role is focusing on their environment of dwelling
rather
than concentrating attention at study.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, supplying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with a safe environment
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
to grow up in plays an essential role in not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
being talented
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to learn.
Therefore
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
of tutors, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
their
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
condition of living. In accordance with the researches of identifying how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
spend
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and for what they
mostly
focus on:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
or supplying with
Possible spelling mistake found.
necesitties
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
are shown
that the majority of them are busy with working
in comparison
to educating,
thus
we can say from that almost everyone
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "thinks", "thought".
think
more about creating sufficient and unharmful place and nurturing is more vital than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
what is right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

To sum up,
even though
both views have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
points, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
children
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
to realize the life by explaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on anything we are doing is the main role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the role of parents is to discipline their children and teach them about right and wrong. Other people consider that the main responsibility of parents is to nurture their children and provide them with a safe environment.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people think that the role of parents is to discipline their children and teach them about right and wrong .Other people consider that the main responsibility of parents is to nurture their children and provide them with a safe environment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.