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Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy same products anywhere in the world Is this positive development or negative?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy same products anywhere in the world Is this positive development or negative? myL1
Some people harbour a belief that people in different countries are becoming more similar due to the products widely spread and purchase in any part of the world and also have many merits, while others hold the reverse viewpoint. From my perspective, it is a controversial issue which deserves an in-depth discussion. To begin with, one of the main argument in its rejection is that purchasing the same items leads to harder identification. Considering wearing the same clothes and take one kind of hat, people not only loose their personal style but may hard to reconginize them with looking no different. Furthermore, products are distributed all over the world might make the price go down. For instance, some certain products are sold in particular stores and also sold everywhere, their prices certainly decrease and in some extents would affect the global economy. On the other hand, people occasionally realize the fact that the products widely spread can elimate the discrimination. People of social status, the poor people can buy the same type of products or one band as the rich publics that may make them feel equal. Besides the aforementioned, nowadays through the social media share the information about various useful products, such as people sometimes watch youtubers to introduce the commodities which are useful and the price are reasonable, therefore many people would tend to buy the same products or interests also share the review with each other so as to get more easy to make friend and the world will be similar in the end. In conclusion, despite the fact that the products sold around the world have blessing and curse in some aspects; however, I personally believe that the advantages are more beneficial than the disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'harbour' is British English.
harbour
a belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries are becoming more similar due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
widely
spread and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
in any part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
merits, while others hold the reverse viewpoint. From my perspective, it is a controversial issue which deserves an in-depth discussion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the main argument in its rejection is that purchasing the same items leads to harder identification. Considering wearing the same clothes and take one kind of hat,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their personal style
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
reconginize
them with looking no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are distributed
all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the price go down.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are sold
in particular
stores and
also
sold everywhere, their prices
certainly
decrease and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extents would affect the global economy.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
occasionally
realize the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
widely
spread can
Possible spelling mistake found.
elimate
the discrimination.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
of social status, the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the same type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or one band as the rich
Possible spelling mistake found.
publics
that may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel equal.
Besides
the aforementioned, nowadays through the social media share the information about various useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtubers
to introduce the commodities which are useful and the price are reasonable,
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or interests
also
share the review with each other
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friend and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
will be similar in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

In conclusion
, despite the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
sold around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
have blessing and curse in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects;
however
, I
personally
believe that the advantages are more beneficial than the disadvantages.
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IELTS essay Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy same products anywhere in the world Is this positive development or negative?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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