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Some people think that the role of parents is to discipline their children and teach them about right and wrong. Other people consider that the main responsibility of parents is to nurture their children and provide them with a safe environment to grow up in. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that the role of parents is to discipline their children and teach them about right and wrong. Other people consider that the main responsibility of parents is to nurture their children and provide them with a safe environment to grow up in. PVrbd
Recently, the time children have to spend other than their parents is increasing due to the fact that both of their parents are tied in working. While some may argue that this is because the recent economic situation, I believe parents want to ensure their children have a satisfactory and successful life. First, the reason why parents work all day long to the point that they cannot spare time spending with their children stems from an anxiety towards future. Specifically, they want to save the earnings in order to assure their children can go to a college. As a matter of fact, the tuition of colleges is typically exorbitant in all countries. This fact largely urges parents to be engaged in works. Another factor is that they want children to have a satisfactory life without a lack of anything they need. In other words, even if working reduces their time with their children, they want to ensure children are gratified with the status quo. According to the research, it has been discovered that the level of poverty determines children’s happiness. If parents continued focusing on working and not prioritizing the time with their children, numerous problems could happen, such as criminal activities, getting involved with delinquent peers, and misunderstanding their parents do not love them. First, children are likely to get involved with delinquent peers which eventually leads to criminal activities. Since they have plenty of time hanging out with others, they might get close to those delinquent peers out of curiosity. Additionally, as children easily succumb to whatever they are interested in, they might cause issues illegally. Another consequence that is posed by a lack of time spending with parents is a low self-esteem. In fact, the study shows that children are often hesitant to ask what they want, especially when their parents seem hectic. Therefore, this might consequently make them afraid of interacting with others, and cannot see themselves as worthwhile individuals. In conclusion, the fact that parents spend less amount of time with their offspring is not because they want to rather they want them to lead a successful life. However, since raising child is costly, this unable them to spare time with their children. Meanwhile, if this situation lasts over a long period, many negative consequences can occur.
Recently, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is increasing due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that both of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are tied
in working. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may argue that this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the recent economic situation, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to ensure their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a satisfactory and successful life.

First
, the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
work all day long to the point that they cannot spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spending with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
stems from an anxiety towards future.
Specifically
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to save the earnings in order to assure their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can go to a college. As a matter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, the tuition of colleges is
typically
exorbitant in all countries. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
largely
urges
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
be engaged
in works. Another factor is that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have a satisfactory life without a lack of anything they need. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, even if working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are gratified
with the status quo. According to the research, it has
been discovered
that the level of poverty determines
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
happiness.

If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
continued focusing on working and not prioritizing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, numerous problems could happen, such as criminal activities, getting involved with delinquent peers, and misunderstanding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
them.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved with delinquent peers which
eventually
leads to criminal activities. Since they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
hanging out with others, they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
close to those delinquent peers out of curiosity.
Additionally
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
easily
succumb to whatever they
are interested
in, they might cause issues
illegally
. Another consequence that
is posed
by a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spending with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is a low self-esteem. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, the study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
hesitant to ask what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
,
especially
when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
seem hectic.
Therefore
, this might
consequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them afraid of interacting with others, and cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
themselves as worthwhile individuals.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
spend less amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their offspring is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
rather
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
them to lead a successful life.
However
, since raising child is costly, this unable them to spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Meanwhile, if this situation lasts over a long period,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences can occur.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the role of parents is to discipline their children and teach them about right and wrong. Other people consider that the main responsibility of parents is to nurture their children and provide them with a safe environment to grow up in.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Some people think that the role of parents is to discipline their children and teach them about right and wrong. Other people consider that the main responsibility of parents is to nurture their children and provide them with a safe environment to grow up in. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.