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Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. v.5

Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. v. 5
There is no doubt in the fact that in today's time technology has improved human lives tremendously and made simultaneously efficient as well. Nowadays, it is thought by some individuals that modern technology has widened the gap between poorer and richer community while others are quite opposite to this notion that technology is decreasing gap between them. In my opinion, many technologies are available to all sorts of people in society and significantly reduce gap among the poor and rich section of society Firstly, there are many high-tech inventions such as cheap smartphones, computers and the latest internet technology is available for all people l. They are very easily accessible and affordable for low income level users. Millions of poor people are taking advantage of this technology for fruitful purposes which leadings them to tackle with poverty. Moreover, a large number of small businesses successfully and developed because of technology around the globe. Secondly, Wi-Fi - hotspots, online shopping sites and learning sites and social sites, platforms are available at free of cost to all people in the society. Therefore, modern technology is decreasing gap between poor and wealthy people. However, a certain number of technologies has increased the gap between people's of different level income. To exemplify, modern inventions such as CNC machines and automated robots are quite expensive. Therefore, only wealthy people buy these goods become more financially stable in the global business sector. Meanwhile, small business cannot compete with them and causing them to go for bankruptcy. It all leads to rise in numbers of more poor people in the society. To sum up, although some technologies are high priced due to the incredible development of products, for that poor society need more stability at the economic level, but some technologies like internet that is facilitating poor to tackle with poverty in many ways. It's seem that modern technology is making a real difference to reduce gap between the poor and rich people by providing them platform to become richer.
There is no doubt in the fact that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
tremendously
and made
simultaneously
efficient
as well
. Nowadays, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has widened the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between poorer and richer community while others are quite opposite to this notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between them. In my opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are available to all sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in society and
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
and rich section of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
society


Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
high-tech inventions such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
smartphones, computers and the latest internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is available for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
l. They are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
accessible and affordable for low income level users. Millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are taking advantage of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
for fruitful purposes which
Possible spelling mistake found.
leadings
them to tackle with poverty.
Moreover
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
businesses
successfully
and developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
around the globe.
Secondly
, Wi-Fi
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
hotspots, online shopping sites and learning sites and social sites, platforms are available at free of cost to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
and wealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

However
, a certain number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
has increased the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
level income. To exemplify,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
inventions such as CNC machines and automated robots are quite expensive.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
become more
financially
stable in the global business sector. Meanwhile,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
business cannot compete with them and causing them to go for bankruptcy. It all leads to rise in numbers of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society.

To sum up, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are high priced due to the incredible development of products, for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
society need more stability at the economic level,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
like internet
that is
facilitating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
to tackle with poverty in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. It's seem that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is making a real difference to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
and rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by providing them platform to become richer.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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