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Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree? v.4

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. v. 4
Today, more and more countries tend to discover long – term space projects. Because of the enormous survey expenditures incurred, the value of planet researches has been disputed. On the other hand, some people suggest that the union funding should be diverted toward making living standards for people better. From my perspective, I agree with the mentioned opinion and the investment in space research can be paid off someday in the future instead of now. Initially, ordinary people are facing up to a variety of serious problems, including pollution, poverty, illiterate and so on. Undoubtedly, wealth can contribute to solve the mentioned issues. When we have cash, we can create projects for recycling, processing of waste, planting and protecting environment. By these actions, people can build a peaceful and clean atmosphere. In addition, food is the basic condition with humans, even animals to develop. In the Africa, a huge number of citizens passed away by the shortage of food. The authority should spend funding on providing rations for people instead of using it for investigating galaxy. On the other hand, the lack of knowledge can lead to multiple harmful consequence. Knowledge is the transport of communication, people need to consider about the illiterate problems are occurring in some countries such as Pakistan, Kenya and Uganda. Sooner or later, we have many conditions to achieve our Earth, but the prior subject is helping people to gain knowledge. Especially, the globe is trying to survive through Corona Virus. It is the best moment to spend funding on treating, destroying virus more than galaxies. Secondly, the world’s population is growing every year. The politics should use their funding for investing in the facilities and infrastructure to serve our quality’s heart. Our growth needs to be improved day by day, it is also the power for people to pay attention to work and raise bills for their countries. People are the crucial factor to the development of a country, they know how to earn capital, produce rations and build a green soul. The regime should take care of their citizens and increase the standard’s activity. People when have chances of living a better society, they can succeed in exploring our galaxy. In conclusion, we do not deny the importance of Earth with the human heart. However, people can contribute to the development with our expectations. In the near future, when people have a great lifestyle, they will be able to looking for space and build new areas on the Earth. Today, a lot of American scientists are finding out the soul on the Mars and I hope we will have chances of living in other planets.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
tend to discover long
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
term space projects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the enormous survey expenditures incurred, the value of planet researches has
been disputed
.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest that the union
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
should
be diverted
toward making living standards for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
better. From my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the mentioned opinion and the investment in space research can
be paid
off someday in the future
instead
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Initially
, ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing up to a variety of serious problems, including pollution, poverty, illiterate and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Undoubtedly
, wealth can contribute to solve the mentioned issues. When we have cash, we can create projects for recycling, processing of waste, planting and protecting environment. By these actions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can build a peaceful and clean atmosphere.
In addition
, food is the basic condition with humans, even animals to develop. In the Africa, a huge number of citizens passed away by the shortage of food. The authority should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
on providing rations for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
instead
of using it for investigating galaxy.
On the other hand
, the lack of knowledge can lead to multiple harmful consequence. Knowledge is the transport of communication,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
Did you mean simply "consider the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
consider about the
illiterate problems are occurring in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as Pakistan, Kenya and Uganda. Sooner or later, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
conditions to achieve our Earth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the prior subject is helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to gain knowledge.
Especially
, the globe is trying to survive through
The term "Coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
Corona Virus
. It is the best moment to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
on treating, destroying virus more than galaxies.

Secondly
, the world’s population is growing every year. The politics should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
for investing in the facilities and infrastructure to serve our quality’s heart. Our growth needs to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
day by day, it is
also
the power for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to pay attention to work and raise bills for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are the crucial factor to the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they know how to earn capital, produce rations and build a green soul. The regime should take care of their citizens and increase the standard’s activity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
when have chances of living a better society, they can succeed in exploring our galaxy.

In conclusion
, we do not deny the importance of Earth with the human heart.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can contribute to the development with our expectations. In the near future, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a great lifestyle, they will be able to looking for space and build new areas on the Earth.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
American scientists are finding out the soul on the Mars and I hope we will have chances of living in other planets.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
442 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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