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Some people think that the range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that the range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. v. 1
Some people argue that in the modern society, technological advancements are increasing the gap between the wealthy and the poor while others believe that technology is decreasing the gap between them. In my opinion, certain technologies are available to all people in the society and help reduce the gap between the rich and the poor. However, certain innovations are inaccessible to the poor because of their high cost. Certain inventions and discoveries decreased the gap between people of different income levels. This is because they are accessible to all people due to their availability at cheaper rates. For example, the internet technology is available to almost all sections of the society. It is affordable to all people and certain places such as railway stations, bus stations and airport are WiFi hotspots where internet is freely available. Online shopping facilities, e-learning opportunities and social networking sites are available to both affluent and poor people in the society and they decrease the gap between the rich and the poor. However, certain advancements in technology are not affordable for the poorer sections of the society. Modern medicine, for example, is expensive. Certain new drugs and diagnostic procedures are very costly. Certain affluent people who developed cancer took treatment with a special kind of protein which was very expensive but had fewer side effects compared to conventional chemotherapy. Rich people can access these treatments by spending only a small portion of their income and improve their health. Poor people, on the other hand, have to spend all of their money for conventional treatments and yet there is no guarantee that they condition will improve. In conclusion, certain innovations in technology decrease the gap between the rich and the poor while certain developments make society more polarized. It is hoped that in the near future all technologies will be available to all people regardless of their economic status.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that in the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, technological advancements are increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between the wealthy and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
while others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is decreasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between them. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
innovations are inaccessible to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their high cost.

Certain inventions and discoveries decreased the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
income levels. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are accessible to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to their availability at cheaper rates.
For example
, the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
to almost all sections of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. It is affordable to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
places such as railway stations, bus stations and airport are
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
WiFi
hotspots where internet is
freely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
. Online shopping facilities, e-learning opportunities and social networking sites are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
to both affluent and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
they decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and the poor.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
advancements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are not affordable for the poorer sections of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Modern medicine,
for example
, is expensive.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Certain
new drugs and diagnostic procedures are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Certain
affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who developed cancer took treatment with a special kind of protein which was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
had fewer side effects compared to conventional chemotherapy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access these treatments by spending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
portion of their income and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend all of their money for conventional treatments and
yet
there is no guarantee that they condition will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
innovations in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
developments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
more polarized. It
is hoped
that in the near future all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regardless of their economic status.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
51Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Some people think that the range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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