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Some people think that the only way to judge someone’s success in life is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of the success of a life? In what other ways could success in a life be measured? v.2

Some people think that the only way to judge someone’s success in life is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of the success of a life? In what other ways could success in a life be measured? v. 2
Success has many forms to take. Some might believe that, wealth is the form to success whereas others might believe that happiness and psychological relaxation consider as a form of successful lifestyles. Since there are many indicators to judge someone’s form of successful life, it can difficult to say money is the only measure to judge the success. Therefore, other criteria should be required. There are many people in the world who have achieved a successful life. Some of them could be succeeded financially whereas others succeeded psychologically. For example, Bill Gates is known to be financial successful entrepreneur whereas Gandhi is known for psychological successful person. Those two persons have lived completely different lifestyles. Since most of wealthy people are suffered to be acquiring wealth, they get a lot of stresses and fear of being revealed of their privacy. Therefore, it is difficult to say that the finances are the only indicator to measure one’s successes. Finance measurement can be seen as only one way to measure the successful lives, therefore, it should be used other indicators to observe different aspects of successes. Other indicators can be used to measure successes such psychological, health and spiritual. For instance, incurable patients may think of successful life as a healthy life whereas other religious people believe that spiritual life is the successful life. Since there are several diverse aspects of life that people are aiming at, it is difficult to claim that there is only one factor to judge successful lifestyles. As a result of this, there are psychological, spiritual, health and personal factors to measure in diverse ways to define the successful lifestyles. In conclusion, the measurement of successful lives can vary due to the different perspectives and diverse in definition of successes. Thus, the finance measure to indicate someone’s success is only seeing one side of successes and psychological, health and spiritual indicators should be used.
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Success
has
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many
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forms
to take.
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Some
might believe that, wealth is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
whereas others might believe that happiness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
relaxation consider as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
lifestyles. Since there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indicators
to judge someone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it
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can difficult
to say money is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
to judge the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
Therefore
,
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other
criteria should
be required
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world who have achieved a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them could
be succeeded
financially
whereas others succeeded
psychologically
.
For example
, Bill Gates
is known
to be financial
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successful
entrepreneur whereas Gandhi
is known
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
person. Those two persons have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
lifestyles. Since most of wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffered
to be acquiring wealth, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
and fear of
being revealed
of their privacy.
Therefore
, it is difficult to say that the finances are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indicator
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
one’s successes.

Finance measurement can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as
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only
one way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
therefore
, it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indicators
to observe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
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indicators
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
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measure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successes
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
, health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spiritual
.
For instance
, incurable patients may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
religious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spiritual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Since there are several diverse aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are aiming at, it is difficult to claim that there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one factor to judge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
lifestyles.
As a result
of this, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spiritual
, health and personal factors to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
in diverse ways to define the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
lifestyles.

In conclusion
, the measurement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
can vary due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives and diverse in definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successes
.
Thus
, the finance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
to indicate someone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
seeing one side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
, health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spiritual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indicators
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
63Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Some people think that the only way to judge someone’s success in life is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of the success of a life? In what other ways could success in a life be measured? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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