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Some people think that the only way to judge someone s success in business is by the amount of money they make Is money a true indicator of the success of a business In what other ways could success in a business be measured v.1

Some people think that the only way to judge someone s success in business is by the amount of money they make Is money a true indicator of the success of a business In what other ways could success in a business be measured v. 1
Nowadays, business is famous very much and a lot of people are doing their own different types of business. According to some people, that by amount of money a businessmen is making we can find out either he/ she is having a successful business or not. In this essay I will discuss either it is true or not and will talk about some other ways of successful business. To begin with, money is very important to start a well established business and for the maintaining of that business. It’s obvious that if a person is making enough amount of money, so we can assume that he/ she is a successful business and his business is successful. Secondly, money is needed for the maintenance of a business and will always required for expansion of business for example, a businessman needs to invest money in other companies, and will make associates and in this way his/her business will expand. However, money is not the only indicator on which we will measure the business of a person, there are a lot of other things which play a great in successful business, such as, qualified and cooperative staff members, proper and good contacts with costumers, advertisement of the products in market, quality of products etc and it will give a good result in the development of business. In brief, we can judge someone’s success in business by money a person is making but still there are many other ways on which a successful business is identified. Because, there will be many people in business who will have a lot of money but still their business will not that much established.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are doing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, that by amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a businessman" or simply "businessmen"?
a businessmen
is making we can find out either he/ she is having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
or not. In this essay I will discuss either it is true or not and will talk about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
business.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a well established
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and for the maintaining of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. It’s obvious that if a person is making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can assume that he/ she is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
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business
and his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is successful.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is needed
for the maintenance of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and will always
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "require"
required
for expansion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
for example
, a businessman needs to invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
associates and in this way his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
will expand.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
indicator on which we will measure the
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business
of a person, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things which play a great in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, such as, qualified and cooperative staff members, proper and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
contacts with costumers,
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
the products in market, quality of products etc and it will give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
result in the development of business.

In brief
, we can judge someone’s success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
a person is making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways on which a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is identified
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
who will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
will not that much established.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people think that the only way to judge someone s success in business is by the amount of money they make Is money a true indicator of the success of a business In what other ways could success in a business be measured v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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