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Some people think that the only way to judge someone’s success in business is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of the success of a business? In what other reason might success in a company be assessed? v.2

Some people think that the only way to judge someone’s success in business is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of the success of a business? In what other reason might success in a company be assessed? v. 2
Staff in the organisation plays a vital role, Certain individual believes that the only thing to cage someone’s growth in the trade is from the wealth they derive. In my opinion, I agree money is a real yardstick to measure the success of the organisation and customer satisfaction is another ways to make the judgement. In order to run a business money is essential and to declare business a triumph money pay a significant role. Most businessmen perform the trade activity to derive profit from the company. Hence money is the only yardstick to access organisation as a winner or is it a loser. For instance, As per Forbes magazine, All the Rich Entrepreneur names are listed based on the revenue they generated from their business activity. Jeff Bonz the owner of Amazon remain top as every year this company is deriving huge profits and accordingly his net worth is increased. Furthermore, the other factor considered to judge the company success is through customer employees' satisfaction. Business performing his business with his customers is also a vital factor for the consideration. If their client is not happy with the product sold by the business then company is not rated as a good organisation. For instance, Recent research concluded that, 90% of the companies who customer are happy with their client are considered to be successful. In conclusion, People may vary in their opinions, I think Money is the right instrument for measuring the success of the business and the customer satisfaction is other ways to access the successfulness of the organisation.
Staff in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
plays a vital role, Certain individual believes that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing to cage someone’s growth in the trade is from the wealth they derive. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is a real yardstick to measure the success of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
satisfaction is another ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the judgement.

In order to run a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is essential and to declare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
a triumph
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
pay a significant role. Most businessmen perform the trade activity to derive profit from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
yardstick to access
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
as a winner or is it a loser.
For instance
, As per Forbes magazine, All the Rich Entrepreneur names
are listed
based on the revenue they generated from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
activity. Jeff
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bonz
the owner of Amazon remain top as every year this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is deriving huge profits and
accordingly
his net worth
is increased
.

Furthermore
, the other factor
The verb 'considered' is used with the gerund form: "considered judging".
considered to judge
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
success is through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
employees' satisfaction.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
performing his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
is
also
a vital factor for the consideration. If their client is not happy with the product sold by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is not rated as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.
For instance
, Recent research concluded that, 90% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
happy with their client
are considered
to be successful.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
may vary in their opinions, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is the right instrument for measuring the success of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
satisfaction is other ways to access the successfulness of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that the only way to judge someone’s success in business is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of the success of a business? In what other reason might success in a company be assessed? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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