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The responsibility of bringing up children should be shared equally between mother and father. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.7

The responsibility of bringing up children should be shared equally between mother and father. v. 7
First school for a new born is home and parents are the teachers. Both mother and father are equally responsible for the upbringing of a child and making him/her the best citizen. In 21st century, where mother and father both are working generally does not get enough amount of time to spend with their kids. The environment that parents create at home impacts child to a greater extent. Child' s upbringing should responsibility should be taken care by both the parents as a happy family that spends time together gives productive environment for the children to learn and grow. If father works then mother can take care of teaching child at home. If both parents are working, they must accomodate their job timing in a way that each parent gets time to spend with the child. This way they are able to keep an eye on childs activity and emotions which might be triggered because of social messenger platforms or bullying by other kids. The scenario where child responsibilities are owned by only one parent does not get to spend time with other parent, might cause social issues or discrepancy regarding parents in a child' s mind. This might in some cases can result in pschychlogical or behavioural issues with the child. Finally, the rearing of child is responsibility of both the parents and how they manage to fulfil these depends entirely on them like other aspects of life. If one is unable to devote time due to certain reasons, task falls to another parent.
First
school for a new born is home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the teachers. Both mother and father are
equally
responsible for
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
upbringing
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and making him/her the best citizen. In 21st century, where mother and father both are working
generally
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
with their kids.

The environment that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
create at home impacts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to a greater extent.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Child&
#039; s upbringing should responsibility should
be taken
care by both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as a happy family that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together gives productive environment for the children to learn and grow. If father works then mother can take care of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
at home. If both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are working, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodate
their job timing in a way that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. This way they are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "children", the plural form of the noun 'child'?
childs
activity and emotions which might
be triggered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of social messenger platforms or bullying by other kids.

The scenario where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
responsibilities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
, might cause social issues or discrepancy regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s mind. This might in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases can result in
Possible spelling mistake found.
pschychlogical
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
issues with the child.

Finally
, the rearing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is responsibility of both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and how they manage to fulfil
The verb 'depends' is singular. Did you mean: "This depends" or "these depend"?
these depends
entirely
on them like other aspects of life. If one is unable to devote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
due to certain reasons, task falls to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay The responsibility of bringing up children should be shared equally between mother and father. v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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