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Some people think that the main factors influencing a childs development these days are things such as television,friends and music. Pthers believe that family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

Some people think that the main factors influencing a childs development these days are things such as television, friends and music. Pthers believe that family still remains more important. lgLw
Children are heavily influenced by their surroundings, more neuron connections are formed at this stage of life than any other latter stage. While some believe that televisions, friends, and music influences a child's development the most, others argue family has more influence on a child's development. In this essay, I am going to discuss both views and explain my support for the latter. It is certainly true that things such as television, friend and music has a large impact on a child's development. In this mordern age most of the children spend a lot of time consuming digital information from devices such as televisions, cellphones and computers. Such devices have been interwoven with our daily life. As a result, children are highly influenced by them and are more likely to copy th things shown there. Furthurmore, musics and videos in general convey certain message to the viewers which affects their views on various subject matter. Friends circle also has a massive affect on a childs development as most of their social interaction is with them. For example a child with friends who indulge in smoking, drinking and other unhealthy activities may end up copying those habits because of their influence or peer pressure. In contrast, a child with disciplined and well beahved friends will most likely be morally sound. Howerever, I believe family has much more influence on a child's development. We are with our family from the day we are born, we learn to speak, walk and eat from them. We form our habits and behaviour by copying them as we are closest to them. These habits act as a building block for forming new habits. Children develop their confidence, moral values, skills and views from their interaction with their family. A case in point is taht children with dysfunctional families usually develop many problems in the future, while those wnrought up in warm and caring family end up being morally sound and mentally healthy. In conclusion, even though digital media consumption and friends play a vital role in a childs development, I believe family has the biggest influence on a child. If we want our childrens to be happy and morally sound in the future, we have the responsibility to bring them up in such environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are
heavily
influenced by their surroundings, more neuron connections
are formed
at this stage of life than any other latter stage. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that televisions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, and music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influences
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
the most, others argue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. In this essay, I am going to discuss both views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my support for the latter.

It is
certainly
true that things such as television,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
and music has a large impact on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. In this
Possible spelling mistake found.
mordern
age most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
digital information from devices such as televisions, cellphones and computers. Such devices have been interwoven with our daily life.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
highly
influenced by them and are more likely to copy
Possible spelling mistake found.
th
things shown there.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Furthurmore
, musics and videos
in general
convey certain message to the viewers which affects their views on various
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "subject".
subject matter
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Friends
circle
also
has a massive
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on a
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "children", the plural form of the noun 'child'?
childs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
as most of their social interaction is with them.
For example
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
who indulge in smoking, drinking and other unhealthy activities may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up copying those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
or peer pressure.
In contrast
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
with disciplined and well
Possible spelling mistake found.
beahved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
will most likely be
morally
sound.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Howerever
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. We are with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
from the day we
are born
, we learn to speak, walk and eat from them. We form our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
by copying them as we are closest to them. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
act as a building block for forming new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
develop their confidence, moral values,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and views from their interaction with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. A case in point is
Possible spelling mistake found.
taht
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with dysfunctional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
usually
develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in the future, while those
Possible spelling mistake found.
wnrought
up in warm and caring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up being
morally
sound and mentally healthy.

In conclusion
,
even though
digital media consumption and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
play a vital role in a
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "children", the plural form of the noun 'child'?
childs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. If we want our
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
to be happy and
morally
sound in the future, we have the responsibility to bring them up in such environment.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the main factors influencing a childs development these days are things such as television, friends and music. Pthers believe that family still remains more important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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