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Some people think that the main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as television, friends and music. Other believe that the family still remains more important v.9

Some people think that the main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as television, friends and music. Other believe that the family still remains more important v. 9
It is socially believed that, the greatest influence on childhood developmental milestone is due to peers they interact with or entertainment media, while some still base on family upbringing. This essay agrees that family plays a crucial role in nurturing a child. The importance of family and positive traits which it reinforces, as well as, socialization of the young ones will be discussed in this essay. The family tree is an important aspect in every child' s life. Parents or guardian play a huge role in the child' s upbringing, from the day a child is born. Babies are good observers of their surrounding, such as, how people interact and communicate with each other. They understand things that are acceptable to the family in the long run. For example, when i was growing up, my mother taught me to great anyone older than me and offer respect. I still have those attributes, as people from other backgrounds get amazed by my behaviour and they emalute me. However, media and peers might contribute to the child' s overall character, if parenteral guidance is not instituted. Children relate to their environment. Their behaviour, like, adults is controlled by what they see, watch and people they socialise with. Peer pressure can lead to positive or negative attitudes. For instance, my baby watches cartoons and she enjoys the rhymes, " if you are happy and you know clap your hands" , as i watched her from a distance, whenever i play that particular song, she smiles and clap her hands too. Thus, when i realised that television or music play a huge role in defining a child' s character if not controlled. In conclusion, the role played by family in shaping the youngones' behaviour outwit that of peers or media. Children learn language from the mother. Personality of a person is determined by his or her background and cultural values not social. Therefore, i agree that family still plays a vital role in child' s upbringing; as they are the ones who spend much time with the youngones.
It is
socially
believed that, the greatest influence on childhood developmental milestone is due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
they interact with or entertainment media, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
base on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
upbringing. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
a crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in nurturing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. The importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
traits which it reinforces,
as well
as, socialization of the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
will
be discussed
in this essay.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
tree is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect in every
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s life. Parents or guardian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s upbringing, from the day a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is born
. Babies are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
observers of their surrounding, such as, how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
interact and communicate with each other. They understand things that are acceptable to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in the long run.
For example
, when
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was growing up, my mother taught me to great anyone older than me and offer respect. I
still
have those attributes, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from other backgrounds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
amazed by my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
behaviour and
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
emalute
me.

However
, media and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
might contribute to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s
overall
character, if
Possible spelling mistake found.
parenteral
guidance is not instituted. Children relate to their environment. Their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, like, adults
is controlled
by what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
they
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
with.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Peer
pressure can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitudes.
For instance
, my baby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cartoons and
she enjoys the rhymes,
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; if you are happy and you know clap your
Possible spelling mistake found.
hands&quot
;
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
as
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
her from a distance, whenever
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
that particular song, she smiles and clap her hands too.
Thus
, when
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
that television or music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in defining a
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s character if not controlled.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
played by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in shaping the
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngones&
#039;
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
outwit that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
or media. Children learn language from the mother. Personality of a person
is determined
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
background and cultural values not social.
Therefore
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
a vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s upbringing; as they are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
who spend much time with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngones
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as television, friends and music. Other believe that the family still remains more important v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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