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Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides & give your opinion.

The Internet has been in widespread popular use for just over two decades and serve as a major tool for communication. Some people say that the Internet has narrowed distance among people, while there are others argure that it isolates people from real society. In this essay, I will look at both sides of the argument and give my opinion. On the one hand, it is widely accepted that our relationship are closer thanks to the Internet. The Internet helps people to maintain existing ties, often to strengthen them. A large amount of the communication that takes place online is often with the same set of friends and family who are also contacted in person and by phone. Social networks such as Facebook, twitter enable us to find and contact with our high school friends who we has since lost touch with. Moreover, people around global are online and using the same websites, which gives both individuals and businesses more opportunites than ever before to extend our networks and reach out to people we may otherwise never meet. For example, on Facebook, million groups about music, fashion, sport, health, . . . have been built so that people can easily make friends and chat with someone who share the same interests with them. Obviously, the Internet does bring us closer together as it offers a platform through which we can interact with people we already know as well as the unknown.
The Internet has been in widespread popular
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use
for
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just
over two decades and serve as a major tool for communication.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that the Internet has narrowed distance among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while there are others
Possible spelling mistake found.
argure
that it isolates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from real society. In this essay, I will look at both sides of the argument and give my opinion.

On the one hand, it is
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that our relationship are closer thanks to the Internet. The Internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to maintain existing ties,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
to strengthen them. A large amount of the communication that takes place online is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
with the same set of friends and family who are
also
contacted in person and by phone. Social networks such as Facebook,
Did you mean “Twitter” (= microblogging service, capitalized)?
twitter
enable us to find and contact with our high school friends who we
The pronoun ‘we’ must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: “have”
has
since lost touch with.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around global are online and using the same websites, which gives both individuals and businesses more
Possible spelling mistake found.
opportunites
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to extend our networks and reach out to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we may
otherwise
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.
For example
, on Facebook,
Use “a million” or use a number before ‘million’.
million
groups about music, fashion, sport, health
Did you just mean “,” or “.”?
, .
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
have
been built
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends and chat with someone who share the same interests with them.
Obviously
, the Internet does bring us closer together as it offers a platform through which we can interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we already know
as well
as the unknown.

IELTS essay Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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