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Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of children playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

The enormous growth in the use of the computer in recent decades has led to radical changes in the way that a huge number of children play computer games. Although, this is a serious problem there are ways to tackle this issue. It is certainly true that with the ease of computer games children have become introverts and socially aloof. Over the past, toddlers used to play outdoor games with their peers which resulted in the development of skills such as leadership and teamwork. On the contrary, these days, children are becoming reclusive as they play alone with their computer games. Therefore, they do not easily mingle with others. There is no doubt that this affects their mental development, which is a negative impact for the children and for society. On the brighter side, there are several ways to reduce the bad effects of playing computer games. Mostly, it is the responsibility of the parents to see if their children are getting enough attention. Parents must spend considerable amount of time with their children and they need to maintain a healthy relationship with them. Moreover, there must be proper scrutiny of the time spent on computers, and gaming consoles must be restricted. Finally, children can also be encouraged to participate in team sports and community works through which they acquire different skills. All these factors could minimise the negative effects of gaming
The enormous growth in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the computer in recent decades has led to radical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the way that a huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
play computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, this is a serious problem there are ways to tackle this issue.

It is
certainly
true that with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have become introverts and
socially
aloof. Over the past, toddlers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to play outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with their peers which resulted in the development of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as leadership and teamwork.
On the contrary
, these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are becoming reclusive as they play alone with their computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Therefore
, they do not
easily
mingle with others. There is no doubt that this affects their mental development, which is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and for society.

On the brighter side, there are several ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects of playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Mostly
, it is the responsibility of the parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
attention. Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spend considerable amount of time with their
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they need to maintain a healthy relationship with them.
Moreover
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be proper scrutiny of the time spent on computers, and gaming consoles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be restricted
.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
also
be encouraged
to participate in team sports and community works through which they acquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. All these factors could
Possible spelling mistake. ‘minimise’ is British English.
minimise
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
gaming

IELTS essay Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of children playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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