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Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides & give your opinion.

In most countries, across the world, some people hold the view that social websites are making people close to each other while in contrast there are many who believe that word among the people are becoming isolated. According to my way of thinking the internet will help us to communicate with people who are in a long distance on the one hand social communities have a great impact to our life. In other words when we want to have a conversation with family member or friend who is not in a close distance we can simply communicate with him through the internet. According to Siri conducted by Google in 2007 there are more than 2. 584. 389 people in the USA who have a chat with other people who are in different countries. the research clearly shows how the internet makes a life of millions people much easier. This is why it was thought as a main factor to be closer together. On the other hand nowadays many people who live close to each other prefer to chat in Internet rather than in person. people want visit their friends or parents due to the opportunity to talk via internet. A physic professor John Manchester found out that when people don't communicate in person and make a conversation via social websites, this will eventually end up with mental health problems. In my point of view people should communicate together when they are apart from each other while the internet will not be handy if they have an opportunity to chat in person. in conclusion people will isolate it if they communicate on the internet even when they can meet in person and chat. However internet will definitely make people close who are apart from each other
In most countries, across the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the view that social websites are making
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people
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close
to each
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other
while
in contrast
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that word among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming isolated. According to my way of thinking the internet will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
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communicate
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in a long distance

on the one hand social communities have a great impact to our life. In
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other
words when we want to have a conversation with family member or friend
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who
is not in a
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close
distance we can
simply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
with him through the internet. According to Siri conducted by Google in 2007 there are more than 2. 584. 389
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the USA
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chat
with
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in
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different
countries.
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the
research
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a life of millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
much easier. This is why it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
as a main factor to be closer together.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chat
in Internet
rather
than in person.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
people
The verb “visit” needs to be in the to-infinitive form.
want visit
their friends or parents due to the opportunity to talk via internet. A physic professor John Manchester found out that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
in person and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a conversation via social websites, this will
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with mental health problems.

In my point of view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
together when they are apart from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
while the internet will not be handy if they have an opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chat
in person.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
in
conclusion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will isolate it if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
on the internet even when they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
in person and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chat
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
internet will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are apart from each
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
other

IELTS essay Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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