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some people think that the government should collect money from visitors in the museums other believe that they should be free entry of museums. discuss both views.

some people think that the government should collect money from visitors in the museums other believe that they should be free entry of museums. kYK9K
Museums can provide a sense of community and place by celebrating a collective heritage, get to know the history. Some people believe that the government should collect entry fees whether should be free for all. I will discuss both sides of the arguments and reach a logical conclusion. The first and foremost reason is that collecting fees of the museums should be advantages because they can earn good amount of money from tourists, use those funds for safety and maintenance purpose of the museums. In addition, this money is using that give as salary to the staff members. Also, people can aware of old stuff. They do not try to touch an old thing in the museums. For instance, the Indian Museum is the biggest in India. There are around 500 staff members working in this museum that is a huge expense to the maintenance museum. So, the government should take charges from tourists. On the contrary, if the government declares that gives free entry to every museum. Not only students but also other people who are interested to visit in the museums. So, they should go there. Moreover, they can know about different old cultures and traditions of their country. Furthermore, all schools and colleges should arrange to visit a museum because students can learn about history. In conclusion, entry fees should collect from visitors but free entry fees are more beneficial for students. I believe that the government should encourage all educational institutions should arrange an educational trip to the museums.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
can provide a sense of community and place by celebrating a collective heritage,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know the history.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should collect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
whether should be free for all. I will discuss both sides of the arguments and reach a logical conclusion.

The
first
and foremost reason is that collecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should be advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can earn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of money from tourists,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
those funds for safety and maintenance purpose of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
In addition
, this money is using that give as salary to the staff members.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can aware of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
stuff. They do not try to touch an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
thing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
For instance
, the Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
is the biggest in India. There are around 500 staff members working in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
that is
a huge expense to the maintenance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take charges from tourists.

On the contrary
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
declares that gives free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are interested
to visit in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they should go there.
Moreover
, they can know about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
cultures and traditions of their country.
Furthermore
, all schools and colleges should arrange to visit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
students can learn about history.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
should collect from visitors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
are more beneficial for students. I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should encourage all educational institutions should arrange an educational trip to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
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IELTS essay some people think that the government should collect money from visitors in the museums other believe that they should be free entry of museums.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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